Bullets and Black Roses
by SabrinaRoberts
Summary: Edward and Bella are both living lives they don't desire but their worlds are different.Edward's darkness and Bella's secrets collide when one careless step brings them together and Bella's fate rests in Edward's bloody hands.
1. Preface

**A/N: I DO NOT own Twilight. Stephenie Meyer owns the saga and its characters.I just borrowed Edward and turned him into ....Not a Vampire but something equally as dangerous and more...**

**As Edward is 23 and Bella just turned 19, It's Rated:M for future chapters.**

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Sometimes in life you feel like you are not yourself anymore. You feel like some wooden puppet in a show that was being maneuvered by two dark sinister hands of fate. Just in a pull of string you laugh, another pull makes you cry. You ought to suggest trying and break free from those strings?

Yeah well, I've got news for you. One attempt and they will cut the strings on their own accord. Just one attempt and they will let you go…..for good. The consequence of that stupid effort is Death. And in my world there is no place for stupidity.

I am Edward Cullen. Cullen? Yes, that's my code. My code matters more than my name because you leave your identity behind along with your soul and sanity to enter my world. To live a life where, sex, drugs and violence eclipse nouns like love, health and happiness.

I looked at the snoring man. A toddler no more than three was asleep, snuggled at his side. I couldn't tear my eyes away from that kid. He had light gold hair, his chest rising up and down slowly in deep slumber. One of his arms was loosely curled around a purple stuffed dinosaur. This child will never see his dad leave this bed. Tomorrow he'll wake up and find his father dead beside him. I wondered how long it will take him to realize that Daddy is never gonna play with him again?

I almost felt bad for the kid. Almost. And again, in my world words like feelings, kindness and sympathy are just meaningless words. I sold my soul to the devil long ago so Im quite used to this now.

I positioned the muzzle of my gun right at center of his forehead. There won't be no struggle, there won't be any sound. My gun has a silencer.

Just a sharp jab of sudden pain and 'Bang Bang you're dead again'

My cell started to vibrate in my jacket pocket. Emmett. He's waiting downstairs for me to finish off in here.

I took a last look at the sleeping child and pressed the trigger. The body gave a tiny jerk and all was quiet once again. The child was still sleeping peacefully nothing had changed except now there was a split, scorched slightly blackened contact wound in between his eyes that was soiled with particles of partly burned gun powder.

I told you, I sold my soul to the devil…at a really low price but I don't regret it. Because what I did was for my own survival.

I Fucking Regret Nothing!

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**Okay....That was the preface. Now onto whats actually goin on....**


	2. Chapter 1: Chocolate Brown

**A/N: I DO NOT own Twilight. Stephenie Meyer owns the saga and its characters.I just borrowed Edward and turned him into ….Not a Vampire but something equally as dangerous and more…**

**As Edward is 23 and Bella just turned 19, It's Rated: M for Inevitable lemons in future chapters.**

**So here Is the first chapter. Enjoy! **

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**Bullets and Black roses**

**Chapter 1: Chocolate brown**

Thunder cracked loudly outside. The windows of my room trembled. I could hear strong whooshing of fierce wind playing havoc with trees outside along with frequent lightning that tore them apart and uprooted them with a hideous, sickening growl as if they had a mind of their own. As if they were holding a grudge against those trees since forever for just being there and tonight is the night when they finally decided to let out all these decades of repressed rage all at once.

"Bella?"

I heard her call my name again. I tried not to care. I have to try not to care. I rolled over, grabbed two more pillows, pulled my comforter over my head and added the pillows. But the unvarying whooshing of rain and the thunder wasn't helping my case much.

Tonight is so much like that night. The night I had lost the one person I who loved, the one person who loved me back more than anything. Another earsplitting crack echoed throughout the place. Along with the sound of shattering of glass somewhere …..Somewhere downstairs. Yes, exactly like that night.

A part of me was telling me to stop freaking out over something as common as a thunderstorm and to get my ass downstairs, check what has been broken. But the terrified part of me was telling me stay right where I was, in the comfort of my warm bed and ignore the thrashing of my heart.

I waited there for a moment, lying still as a stone before I suddenly shot up from my bed. Yanking the layers of comforters and sheets off me.

"NO! I will not let this go on any longer. I'm braver than you think. I can't possibly find again what I found downstairs nine years ago. You can't lose anything that you don't have anymore" I was screaming in my mind as my drifted towards the door. I took in a deep, slow breath and finally my bare feet touched the polished wooden floor of my bedroom. I turned and flicked on my bedside lamp first so I could check the time. It's 3:15 in the morning. So, I've been lying- tossing and turning -in my bed, wide awake for almost three hours, punishing myself? Yes, once again, exactly like that night.

I stood up slowly, as if my deliberate movements would cause the storm outside to die down. I felt like running out side, eyeing the furious sky directly and shout "I come in peace" see if that calms down the clash of thunders a bit. I laughed quietly at my own notions. I must be losing my mind. What's left of it to lose, anyway!

I could almost picture the headlines in the gossip magazines now_ "Supermodel gone mad?"

I shuddered at my own thought. That's it. Enough! What is past is past. I don't want to go back. Not for excuses, not for justification, not for happiness. I am what I am. This world is what it is. I can't change the past or prepare for the future. I am not going to bother trying. I mean, sure I've got talent. I know what I'm doing, what I'm capable of doing.

My train of thoughts running wild as I opened the white wooden door of my bedroom. The two different handprints- a small blue one and a slightly bigger yellow palm vivid against the ivory paint- still glistened as the low light coming from my lamp hit them. I stared at them for a while. My hand reached to touch the yellow one; I pressed my own palm against it, seeing if the shape matches mine yet. Yes, a perfect fit. I remembered the day when I dipped my hands in blue paint and made her dip hers in yellow so that we could decorate my door with a colorful personal touch. It was my idea. She was even more ecstatic then me, thought it was brilliant. I was only ten then. It was September, just a couple of weeks before … that night.

I cringed, my fingers curling into a fist. I pushed the door open with a little more force than needed. My corridor was dark. I remembered turning off all the lights before going to bed. But it hardly matters. I know my house like the back of my fucking hand. You could blind fold me and I could still move around the house effortlessly.

I did a bit of a half walk-half ran down the stairs and stepped into the kitchen. I flicked the lights on and out of nowhere something pressed hard against my feet and almost fell over but steadied myself by clutching the doorframe at the last second.

I looked down and a chocolate brown Labrador was trying to hide behind me, making disturbing sounds as if someone has kicked it in the guts.

I bent down and picked my dog up in my arms as I was mentally kicking myself for forgetting about Brownie's fear of Thunder. It's ironical really that my dog should be frightened of thunder as much as I was.

He usually slept in his basket in the living space or my sofa. I should have brought him upstairs with me tonight considering the circumstances. But in my defense, the storm was not so bad when I went to bed tonight.

I crouched down and ran my fingers across its back.

"Hey boy! Bella's so sorry she left you alone tonight. I'm so sorry. Bad Bella, isn't she?" Brownie gave another low whimper and jumped into my arms. He wasn't heavy.

My dog 'Chocolate Brown' is chocolate brown. I got him as a puppy two years ago when my neighbor Mrs. Thompson's dog had five puppies and she didn't know what to do with them. One day I was coming home from the local mini mart and two puppies jumped in front of me, aiming for the shopping bag full of food in my hand. Mrs. Thompson came dashing after them in a heartbeat, apologizing furiously, muttering how hard it is, keeping an eye on the lot all the time. I asked her if I could have one and she looked as she would burst into tears of gratitude. So, I told her I wanted the one which was still dangling from my bag. I brought him home and Brownie and me have been friends ever since. I never travel without him.

I carried him into the living space and set him down on my Charlie's old sofa. I started searching for a sign of broken glass. I didn't have to look for long; I found glass splinters on the floor beside the coffee table. Aww… Fuck! There went the vase Alice gave me for Christmas. Alice is my Friend/ Stylist/Agent by the way. We have known each other since I went to New work for the first time. While I was auditioning for the modeling agencies, Alice was an apprentice under a famous stylist and we lived in a shithole one room apartment. Eventually things worked out for both of us. I am an International model now. I mean, sure I am not found in gossip columns on a daily basis (because I had never been seen dangling from the arms of a famous actor, I don't do drugs. I'm not a party animal; I never ran over somebody or made a sex-tape. And I'm not even a lesbian) but I've worked with designers like Dan Salvatore and Victor Marks and not to mention, I've walked NY runways for brands like Dior,FCUK, Chanel and a few other famous names. As for Alice, She is a successful celebrity stylist now. We each have our own luxurious apartments now in NY. I like my place in the big apple but I fly to Washington every and any time I get a chance. I was born here in Forks and it's my home. The things I learned, loved and lost here in this very house made me the person who I am today. I like to come here often spend my breaks and holidays. Sometimes Alice accompanies me, and sometimes it's just me and Chocolate Brown.

I walked over to the closet and grabbed the Small but powerful vacuum cleaner off the self and cleaned up the mess in the living room. I know I could have waited till the morning but surely I'll be the one to trod on them the first thing in the morning because I have this habit of walking around the house bare foot and secondly when you get paid because you have beautiful limbs, you don't want to get a nasty mark on the pretty skin and

Jeopardize your carrier.

I flipped the back cap open and emptied the vacuum tank into the already full trash bin which reminded me to take out the trash before I go back to NY in the noon. I glanced at the clock. 4:45. well, it's already morning and since there's no probability for me going back to sleep today I better get on with it. I took the bag out and stepped on the porch. Every thing is dark and freezing. The rain seemed to have called it a night for now. I walked over to the dumpster across the road and into the alley, dumped the bag and walked back inside. Just as I was about to go upstairs, I heard the Bell. "Who the fuck died this early?" I muttered to my self as I jumped the last three steps.

I peered through the peephole. It was dark and I couldn't see anyone.

"Who is it?"

No answer.

"Who is there?"

No answer.

"Is this some kind of a fucking joke?" I yelled into the darkness as I opened the door. "Alice?" hoping she flew down here to surprise me. But she wouldn't do that. I just talked to her last night. She is in NY, getting things ready for my Nina Ricci photoshoot tomorrow.

"That's odd" I muttered but then I looked down at my feet and saw it. It was a beautiful black rose.

"Eeesh! Its just you. Fuck, you scared the living hell out of me!" I bent down and picked up the rose.

I know what people think about speaking to inanimate objects and not being surprised at incidents like this but my relationship with black roses are prehistoric. On the morning of my sixteenth birthday a single black rose showed up at my doorstep. And ever since then I have been receiving a rose everyday. And the funny thing is the roses stop turning up as soon as I leave the house and accompanies me whenever I'm staying in Forks. I thought It was creepy at first and got pissed every time I laid my eyes on one. But then when I moved to New York, I missed them. And weirdly enough, Black roses are my favorite flowers now.

I sighed as I closed the door and smelled the flower.

"I'm going back today. I guess I won't be getting another one of you in next few weeks. I have a got a lot to do this month"

I have been trying to solve the mystery of the roses since ages. Whoever delivers them is good. He never leaves a note, sometime between midnight and the crack of dawn he comes silently, places a single rose on my doorsteps and leaves as silently.

"The bloody storm scared Brownie and he knocked down my vase. Its broken so you're gonna have to manage in a glass this time" I whispered to the rose as I walked back into the kitchen and filled the biggest glass I could find with water and dipped the thorn less flower in (whoever he was, always took care of the thorns beforehand)

"Thanks to whoever's garden you came from. I'll miss you" I scooped up a sleeping Brownie from the sofa and headed upstairs to do some last moment packing.

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"_Bella?" _

"_Bella!" _

"_Mom" I ran into the other room, thought the voice was coming from there. "Mom?" my eyes searching the kitchen and the dining area so thoroughly as I ran. I even looked under the dining room table. I looked everywhere, under the beds, insides the closets, the bathrooms, our basement. Every fucking where._

"_Mom?" I screamed again, my voice growing more panicked by each second. Where could she be? _

"_Bella?" My mother's voice rang in the air. "Bella? I'm right here honey" My mother chimed in an enchanting voice; I could hear her giggle and her soft footsteps across our living room. Her feet made the softest most familiar sounds across the polished wooden floor. How I could tell it was her? Those are the footsteps; I grew up hearing every other day of my life. The way she moved, the way her single anklet made the sweetest jingles when she walked over to the sofa to scoop me in her arms and carry me upstairs to tuck me in my bed. As most of the nights I used to fall asleep on the sofa, playing video games._

_But I could always tell it was her. When she tucked me in, She would always whisper "Bella, My beautiful girl" in my ears, touching the tip of my nose with her own. And I would be dead to the world just in a matter of seconds, with the happiest smile on my face that a 9 year old could ever muster. _

"_Bella!" her voice rang again. She was calling me. Her beautiful girl, Bella._

"_Mom?" My heart was beating so fast. My throat hurt as I screamed for her again_

"_Mom ! Where are you? Please come out …I am scared" My voice broke in the end._

_I looked around frantically. The living room was empty too._

"_Mom? This is not funny… I am scared, mom. Why can't I find you?" I bellowed, tears running down my cheeks._

"_Bella! I'm here" I heard her footsteps again, more soft jingles of the charms of her anklet. I followed the jingles like mad. I ran upstairs and just saw the hem of her snowy white gown disappeared into my dark room with a whooshing sound of fabric and more soft jingles._

_I looked at my door. It was slightly ajar. I slowly pushed it open soundlessly and stepped inside._

_And everything was over. There was blood and a chair was toppled over near her feet. I wanted to help but I was petrified and it felt like the floor was eating me alive. I didn't move. I couldn't move. I wanted to scream but I couldn't seem to locate my orifice._

_I must scream for help. I must. _

"_CHARLIE !!!" My blood chilling scream shook the walls._

"Miss?"

"Miss, are you all right?" I was being shaken awake, violently by a pair of firm hands.

My eyes snapped open. I sat up a look around furiously.

"Who… whoa … Hey!" I blinked rapidly at the flight attendant.

"Its OK, Miss. You are safe. We'll be landing in NY in 15 minutes. You dozed off a bit ago. Been having a nightmare, I suppose?" she said in a British accent. This time I looked at her properly. She was either at her late twenty's or at her early thirty's. She had brilliant blue eyes, sleek silver blonde hair that only came down to her neck. She looked smart and crisp in her flight attendant uniform.

"Uh, Yes, I'm sorry. It was long day yesterday and I couldn't sleep at night" I smiled at her. She smiled back and handed me a glass of orange juice.

"It's all right, Miss. You are traveling first class with us, aren't you? You can moonwalk on your seat if your heart pleases for your money's worth. As long as its _safe. _She added with a wink.

"OK. I'll remember that next time" I laughed. But she looked a bit frustrated as if she was concentrating hard, trying to remember something.

She just stared at me for next five minutes. As soon as the pilot announced that we're landing, she couldn't hold it anymore.

"Miss please, pardon me but I think I've seen you somewhere before. I just can't recall where… In a magazine, I daresay? Or perhaps, TV…. " she trailed off.

I smiled "Well, er…" I remembered I didn't get her name. My eyes searched a name tag but she beat me to the punch.

"It's Opal, Miss…"

" Opal, picture me with glossy curls that come down to my hips, me wearing nothing but a ivory satin sheet wrapped around my torso and an electric blue perfume bottle shaped like a pyramid on my palms" I added to her benefit.

"Good lord! You are that model from the Elizabeth Arden advertisement, aren't you? I knew it. I saw you in Harpers Bazaar the other day. But you looked different there. It was Chanel, I believe. I was totally in love with that clutch you were holding. You looked like an angle. Not that you are not insanely beautiful in person. Its just two different kinds of beauty" she blurted out with a shy smile.

"Yes, I understand. Those pictures were airbrushed. I'm Isabella Swan by the way" she took my hand and gave a gentle squeeze before letting go.

"It's delightful to meet you, Miss Swan. I have you say, you are a truly a beautiful young lady in every aspect"

"Er.. Thanks" I muttered as I checked my watch warily.

"In hurry, miss swan?" she asked politely.

"Yes, Umm… I have a photo shoot for Nina Ricci this after noon and it's already 12:30 now. Alice is going to kill me if I'm late. She hates it when she doesn't get enough time to dress, undress me and re dress me at least 10 times before finalizing her decision" I chuckled darkly at that thought.

"Well, Good luck with that" she smiled as we felt the plane's wheels on the tarmac.

"Thanks I'll need all the luck. Something tells me today is just not my day" I whispered as the busy airport came sliding into my view.

Something was telling me to prepare for a mad dash.

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**Leave me some love and reviews. Please **

**love ya all, sempre.**

**Sabrina (RobstenWish)**


	3. Chapter 2: Pink perfection

**A/N:**** I DO NOT own Twilight. Stephenie Meyer owns the saga and its characters. As Edward is 23 and Bella just turned 19, It's ****Rated:****M **** for language and Inevitable ****lemon ****in future chapters.**

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**Hey all, Sabrina here. How was your day? We doing well?**

**Now about 'Bullets and Black Roses' the chapters will be coming along once a week so don't expect them to be 30 pages long or something like that. But the good thing is the time span between fanfic updates will be short. And the thing you should know about me that I don't like to beat about the bush so my fiction is going to be a bit more straight forward then others. I know how you guys hate Bella and Edward separated …. Don't worry; they will meet in the next chapter.**

**Also, there will be a once in lifetime special appearance from someone really really special in the next chapter. So please, for the love of all that's stonecold and sparkly, STAY WITH ME!**

**I'm telling you now; this is fanfiction in a way you have never experienced before.**

**Love you all, sempre.**

**Sabrina (****RobstenWish****)**

_**P.S:**_** I know a lot of you are missing the old Robsten fanfics. But I seriously can't write freely with having to mind about a bunch of violation rules hovering over my ass. I hope you guys understand and look forward. I promise you Robsten Fans wont be disappointed.**

_**P.P.S:**_** Guys, I'm seriously hurt by the lack of response and reviews. But to the ones who followed all this way. I just want to say, Thank you so much.**

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**Bullets and Black Roses**

**Chapter 2:** **Pink perfection**

**BPOV:**

"Oh… Come fucking on, Alice! I can't take it any more!" I groaned loudly.

"Shut up, Bella. It's not my fault you were late and what did I tell you about not using expletives when we're working? Alice was frowning, trying to get me in the 13th dress so far.

"Grow up, Bella. You are not a child anymore. You can't just say 'fuck' and 'shit' in front of our clients and the media. And don't think I didn't see your interview from the 'Dior sleek and chic collection' after party. You said 'Fuck' in every sentence. That interviewer from E! was having a field day. I am your agent, Bella and no one wants to work with a potty mouth. It's bad for your carrier and mine" Alice stopped rattling and zipped up the dress.

"Go on, have a look" she walked over and stood beside the mirror, pouting her lips (which is never a good sign) and it probably meant 'Get your ass prepared for the 14th dress'. Grrr! I hate my fucking life!

I let out a defeated sigh and stood in front of the mirror. I was in a floor length silver dress. Two huge narrow leaves made out of some kinda glittery semi see through fabric crisscrossed my torso, barely covering my breasts and leaving a diamond shaped patch, exposing most of my flat stomach and vanished into a long silk skirt. This is going to be a nightmare, I could tell just by looking at the dress.

"So?" Alice asked, assessing me. As if daring me to say no.

"So fucking what, Alice? Like anything I say is gonna make a difference. Do what have to do and just me know when it's fucking over"

"Aww… I love you, Bella" she jumped up and down, clapping her hands.

"Wait till I get you in the one I thought was the best" she chimed happily.

"MIKE!" Alice bellowed and a few seconds later a guy with spiky blond hair came bustling through the trial room door.

"What do you think about this one?" she asked him. "Although Bella and I think it's a definite reject" she added her decision quickly. Mike just gaped at my boobs with his mouth hanging open before he snapped it shut and nodded "Definite reject" though he look as if he is about to cry because he wont get another chance to see me in this dress.

"Good. Now be a sweetheart, stop eye-fucking Bella and bring me the Valentino gown I showed you earlier. You know the soft pink one I thought was perfect for today's shoot" she waved Mike off.

"Alice? If you already knew that one was the best then why bully me into trying on random fuck-ups since noon?" I was gritting my teeth at that point.

"Oh cheer up, Angel of death. Every second was worth it. And anyway, how can be you sure about which ones the best without trying on the bad ones first?"

"Un-fucking-believable!" I screamed and Mike appeared with a white garment bag at that same moment.

"Yay… Its here!" Alice let out a yelp of thrill.

She snatched the bag away from Mike, almost knocking him down in her excitement.

We both stared at her with amazement as she took the dress out of the bag and held it in front of her. The dress looked beautiful even when no one was wearing it. It was like looking at a soft pink waterfall.

"Oh Alice… Its perfect" I gasped.

"You are going to be breath-taking in it" She said, teary eyed.

Only Alice could cry, dressing somebody up. I quickly unfastened the silver leaves around my neck and slipped out of the dress. I heard a sharp intake of breath and turned to see Mike's feet running out of the room. I looked down at myself; I was still wearing nipple-covers and my underwear. Its just skin for fucksake.

"You know Alice, Its getting really hard for me to believe that Mike is gay. I mean, Did you just see the way he looked at me?" I said, irritated.

"Well, I know this for a fact that he dates men. I've even met his boyfriend Eric once" she said as she helped me get into the pink gown.

"Sure, even I saw that Japanese bitch" I scoffed, remembering Mike Newton's boyfriend. He is this short, lanky Asian guy with perfectly flat ironed jet black hair, who loves to wear skinny jeans and vests with matching bow ties.

"I bet, Mike is Bisexual" There is no fucking way a guy would gawk at a woman if he only preferred cocks.

"Honey, it's possible for a gay man to admire beauty when he witnesses it" Alice suggested, not so sure anymore. "And you are beautiful"

"That's bullshit, Alice. If that was the case then why the hell did he just run for his fucking life when I stripped? I wasn't even fucking naked" I challenged.

"_Maybe_, that's because the last time he stayed in a room where you undressed, you threatened him if he looked at your breasts one more time, you'd gouge his fucking eyeballs out and play fetch with your fucking dog with them" Alice laughed "OR _maybe_ because the day before that, you told him that you'll rip his arm off and bitch-slap his own fucking ass with it"

"Oh, I forgot about that. But in my defense, He palmed my ass while pretending to fix my skirt"

"It doesn't matter Bella, Gay or not, he is my assistant. And he is the best. And when it comes to fashion, I want the best to be mine. Just like you" She cupped my chin.

"And, it's neither here not there. You can't expect everyone backstage to be gay, can you? You should know better than that. You cant be so sensitive about showing skin when you are model. I mean, how many men helped you get dressed for runways, backstage? They have all seen you ¾ nude. And the f….."Alice broke off in mid sentence as we heard a knock and a sweet voice asked "May I come in?"

"It's open, Angela" Alice chimed.

"Hey! Alice, Bella! Oh my God! This dress…. You look beautiful. I can't wait to get my hands on you" Angela is my hair and make-up artist.

"Fuck off Bitch" I wrapped my arms around me protectively in mock horror.

"Why are we so _cheerful_ this afternoon?" Angela laughed, setting her huge make-up kit in front me.

"Newton" Alice told her, as her head poked out of a shoe closet.

"Why Bella? I didn't know you didn't like gay people" Angela said, putting adhesive on a pair of fake eye-lashes.

"Whoa! Stop the fuck right there. I have nothing against gay people; I just don't think Mike is one of them" I shrieked.

"Bella…" Alice started impatiently, three different brands of gladiator heels dangling from her hands.

But Angela cut in "I think Bella might be right there, Alice. I mean we both worked with Mike with many other models but the way he looks at Bella is different. Creepy, even. It's like he is in love with her or something and that too in a very _heterosexual_ way. Not to mention the fact, I just saw Mike outside, worshipping Bella's new EW outtakes when I arrived" She chuckled heartily.

"What? Did those pictures already arrive? Why didn't he tell me! Ohh… That idiot…" Alice stormed out, slamming the door behind her.

I couldn't help myself from feeling sorry for Mike. Pissing Alice off is not a wise thing to do. Period.

I sat still for the next couple of hours as Angela put body shimmer over every visible surface of my limbs, transforming my hair into a fluffy brown bush and sticking as many individual fake eye-lashes humanely possible. Then Alice returned and there was a ten minute row on either 'Honey.25' or 'Watermelon touch' lip-gloss would make my lips look more "kissable". Grrr! These two fucking fuckers are gonna fuck the fucking fuck outta my fucking already fucked up life! Fucking bitches!

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It's been three days since I came back from Forks. I love my NY flat. It's calm, chic and comfortable. I have this Ebony and Ivory theme going on here. Walls, curtains, cabinets, Bed sheets and fur carpet in my living space (Where I and Brownie both like to 'roll over' and 'play dead') are all impeccable shades of ivory. And my wooden floor and most of the furniture are burnished dark brown. Just like the fucking old days. Brownie and I were relaxing on my black lather couch in the afternoon, watching Simon insulting random singers on American Idol auditions. I was so pissed when Adam Lambert lost last season that I threw a fucking popcorn bowl at my flat screen. And people think I _hate_ gay people.

_/~ O Baby can't you see I suffer…… O Baby, can't you hear me moan… you caught me under self-pretences…How long before you let me go..~/_

My cell phone rang out, playing 'Supermassive Blackhole' by Muse. It's Alice's favorite song so she set it as her ringing tone on my phone. I checked the time on the dining space clock. Its only 4:43. I'm not supposed meet her till eight for dinner tonight. Or _did_ _I_ forget something?

"Bella?" Alice's wind-chime voice tuned in. I couldn't tell if she was pissed or not obviously. But she always has been good at hiding her imotions.

"Hello Alice" I greeted her tentatively.

"Hey there, whatcha doing?"

"Oh, just watching Idol auditions. Some guy in a chicken suit just got a 'NO' from the judges" I said.

"A chicken suit? Seriosly?" Alice laughed "Which reminds me, canary yellow is in fashion again, we should get you a couple of tops and a pair of chanel pumps. They will go wonderfully with all the Black junk you always wear"

"I do not fucking wear black _all_ the time" I frowned at the black hoodie and my black jeans I was wearing at that moment.

"Liar, Liar, Black hoodie on fire!" Alice sang.

"Shut it bitch" I goaded. Now that I'm sure I haven't forgotten a trial or a shoot, I can afford to be rude again.

"No, seriously. I'm getting you some canary yellow stuff tomorrow"

"What the Fuck is this? The Bee movie? Black and yellow! Hello!" We both laughed.

"Funny. Now listen, the reason I called is because I need your car for a couple of hours"

"My car?" that threw me off guard a little. I drive an ash Audi TT. Why would Alice want my fucking car? She already has two fabulous cars of her own. Not to mention, one of them is a fucking Porsche 911 Turbo (canary yellow).

"Bien sûr" I said "When do you want it?" I asked, having no idea what to say.

"Now" she said.

"Are _you_ coming over to pick it up?" I was confused.

"No, Mike is on his way. I'm having him deliver the photos from the Nina Ricci shoot to your apartment. He'll be there in a few minutes. Just give him the keys to your Audi"

"OK. Do I get to ask why you want my car?"

"Not yet" Alice teased.

"Fine. Do I still get to see you tonight?" I was wondering if tonight's plan was still on.

"Of course, Bella" Alice sang excitedly "We'll have a wild night out tonight. Where can we go…let me think…" But I already had an idea.

"Speaking of 'wild'. We'll go get something to eat first and then I'm taking you to Zafrina's party. We'll have a great time. Her parties are always brilliant and fucking fun"

"What?!? No..NO, Bella! There's nothing 'fun' about those parties!" Alice was screaming so loud, I had to hold the receiver away from my ear.

"Of course there is. That woman throws _Wild_ parties!" And when I said 'wild' I meant it in the literal sense.

Zafrina is a African supermodel. She was born in some village near the Amazon. Somehow she made it big into the fashion industry in the 90's. She is just celebrated her 40th birthday last month. But with catlike eyes against her rich brown skin, long sleek limbs that just goes on and on for days and her 6.7" height puts her way beyond the reach of most young and sexy models of our time. Zafrina has a reputation for throwing feral parties. She says it makes her feel at home. Each party is planned around 'Wild' themes. For example, for her last birthday party she transformed a club into a jungle. The waiters were dressed in animal fur and a just piece of lather covering their privates. The females were wearing cheetah print skirts and short vests made of straw. They had jewelry made of bones and teeth, sporting body paint all over them. There were some tribal entertainers who whipped themselves violently and breathe fire out of their mouths. And that's not even all of it! There were two Royal Bengal Tigers roaming around moodily all over the place. We were told the tigers were highly trained but people didn't dare go near them. I on the other hand was intrigued by the beauty of such creatures, I went and patted the tiger and people around me were gawking at me open-mouthed as I scratched behind its ears like it was Hello Kity rather than vicious man eating beast. Alice called me 'senseless bitch' in spite of herself. I just didn't get what's the fucking big deal was. I mean at the end of the day, it was just really an oversized cat!

"Alice?"

"oh no, Bella, there is no way in hell I'm going to one of her parties again" she retorted. "I shudder to even think what kinds of animals she's bringing this time"

"I'll make you change your mind before midnight" It was my turn to chime happily.

"Don't hold your breath, you fearless bitch. Even if you _murder_ me, my dead body wouldn't set a foot in that place"

"We'll just have to see about that, won't we?" I was already scheming ways to get drag her ass to that party in my mind when I heard my door bell.

"Hey Alice, I guess 'la argot joyeux' is here. I better go and answer the door before he flees"

'Don't call him 'Argot' you don't know that. Le connaissez-vous?'

'Je ne le connais pas. see you tonight' I smiled, every word dripping with sarcasm.

'Dépêchez-vous donc' Alice reminded me.

'Bien sûr. I'll be at La Maison's at eight sharp' I cut the line.

I scooped Brownie up in my arms and went to face Newton.

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**7:00 pm**

_**Yahoo Chat intercepted from Bella to Alice…**_

**BloodyMarieSwan:** OMFG! Alice, u sneaky little bitch, I can't fucking decide either I luv or hate u more right now!

**Alice908able:** Does dat mean Mike dropped your car off?

**BloodyMarieSwan:** He sure did! I luv my new interior. I luv the orange seats; I luv what you had them done to my steering wheel, I luv the matching alloys. Everything. Is . Fucking. Perfect.

**Alice908able:** Consider this as your belated New Year's present.

**BloodyMarieSwan:** Thanx. But there was NO need to spend 20 grand on me. I hate u 4 dat.

**Alice908able:** But I didn't spend 20. I just spent 17. So you are welcome, Bella.

**BloodyMarieSwan:** Un-Fucking-believable! Now I'm definitely making you go to that party tonight.

**Alice908able:** We'll just have to see about that, won't we?

**BloodyMarieSwan:** Ha! I'll drug you if I have to.

**Alice908able:** I'll have Zafrina remind me not to accept a drink from you tonight

**BloodyMarieSwan:** Zafrina? Does that mean you are going?

**Alice908able:** Yes

**BloodyMarieSwan:** What made you change your mind?

**Alice908able:** Zafrina called, she promised me there'll be no wild beast present tonight.

**BloodyMarieSwan:** WTF?!? I was hoping I'll get to see Sasha again.

**Alice908able:** Who is Shasa?

**BloodyMarieSwan:** Shasha is the beautiful tigress I played with, last time.

**Alice908able:** Bella, sometimes I feel that you have some kind of serious mental disorder that you don't know about yet

**BloodyMarieSwan:** Why would you say that?

**Alice908able:** Why wouldn't I? You play with giant man-eaters, once you strolled around a party with a lustrous great snake wrapped around your shoulders, you jumped into the sea from a frigging yacht because you _felt _like swimming, and you took my Porsche for a ride and threw a cupcake at a cop just so you could test for real if a 911 turbo is actually faster than a cop cruiser!

**BloodyMarieSwan:** Oh cheer up Alice,

1st of all, Sasha is a trained cat.

2nd of all, If Britney spears can do it, I can.

3rd of all, that yacht was full old rich jerks and I always wanted to swim in the oceans of Hawaii

And 4th of fucking all, I didn't get caught, did I? That stupid car never stood a chance against the Turbo.

**Alice908able:** Seriously Bella? He could have called for reinforcement. You seriously gave me a heart attack. I had to change my number plates. Do you have any idea how much trouble Mike had to go through to get a new licensed number plate?

**BloodyMarieSwan:** Oh come on Alice, the NYPD don't set choppers on your ass just for a cupcake-assault. And that was the only thriving job Newton has ever done for us that's worth the assload of money we both pay him every month.

**Alice908able:** LOL you do have a point there

**BloodyMarieSwan: **See, I told you. You worry too much

**Alice908able**: Hey, I was just saying you're right about Mike; I'm still dead on about the stupid stuff.

**BloodyMarieSwan:** Fuck me

**Alice908able**: You are irrational, volatile and reckless. You are dangerous, Bella. Even to yourself.

**BloodyMarieSwan:** Fuck you

**Alice908able:** I'm serious, Bella. I think we should see some one. You know, there are a lot of reputed therapists in Manhattan.

**BloodyMarieSwan:** Fuck them.

**Alice908able**: Alright, It's 7:15 now. I'll see you in a bit. And we're not done talking about this.

**BloodyMarieSwan**: Ok. I'll meet you at La Maison's. Fuck you twice.

And Thanks for today.

**Alice908able:** Love you Bella, take care of yourself. You are the only one I have.

**BloodyMarieSwan: **Since we're having a big fucking Oprah moment in here…. I love you too, bitch. Now get your ass dressed in something sexy for tonight's party.

_**Alice908able signed out….**_

** BloodyMarieSwan**: You are the only one I've got, too.

_**BloodyMarieSwan signed out….**_

I logged out and closed my laptop shut. Brownie snuggled closer to my side. Looking up, sensing something had upset me. He rubbed his nose against my elbow and gave my hand a lick. This was his way of consoling me. I ran my fingers across his neck.

"Its ok, Boy. I'm OK. It's just stupid Alice … making me emotional…I hate her… I love her…she is my sister" I muttered to my dog.

"Come on Boy, we've got to move. Bella needs to get ready real fast. Alice is gonna kill Bella if she's late again. Good boy"

Brownie barked, licked my hand one more time and jumped off the couch, strolling happily into the kitchen.

I hurried off into my room to get dressed. I heard movement of furniture issuing from the kitchen followed by Brownie's excited barks.

"Yes, you can have the leftover pizza but get off the fucking dining table first!" I bellowed as I scavenged my closets for something to wear tonight. I would've gone out in a pair of chic denims and my Black hoodie but after the 'Hoodie on fire' jab from Alice today, I'll have go with a dress. Black is out of the question. Alice was right though. I do wear too much black shit. I never realized how many black junk I own.

I took all my 'Non-black' party items out, stood in front of my floor length mirror and held them in front on me one by one.

"Nah… Too trashy….

Too prom night…

Too long…

Too hard to walk in….

Too boring…

Too many frills …

Blah this one is black…

Too wedding cake-ish…

Too flashy…

Um, nah white is too common…

Too short…wait is this a dress or a top?….

Oh this one is black again…

Ahh! "This" I whispered as I picked out a vivid scarlet one "is just perfect for tonight"

Half and hour later, I was fidgeting in the backless, thigh length scarlet dress with a bikini like neck line as I got out the elevator of my fucking place. It was already 8:45 p.m. Fuck! Alice is going to skin me alive.

I saw my neighbor from the 7th floor, Benjamin, pacing impatiently in the lobby.

He is a friendly young archeologist, hardly of twenty four/five who fell madly in love with another Egyptian archeology student, Tia during one of his tours of the ancient pyramids. He came back to Manhattan with Tia and just three months later they got married.

"Hey Isabella" he said without looking up.

"Hi Ben, bad day?" he looked up and made a face that clearly said 'you _think_!?'

"What? Your wife finally ditched you? I knew she was too pretty and smart to be with a retard like you. Good for her!" I joked as I ransacked my purse for my car keys.

"I wish" he smiled in spite of himself "she's upstairs, probably rummaging through all the drawers, looking for a receipt to a pair of two hundred dollar shoes she wants to return and _which_ she'll never be able to find because I accidentally threw it away" Ben told me under his breath.

"Wow! You're fucked, Dude" I said, shrugging into an Ivory Armani knee-length trench coat.

"It's not my fault. Why do you girls buy things that you know, you are going to return after a couple of days?" although that was meant to be a rhetorical question, I answered it anyway "Because we are girls"

"And as much as I'd love to stay here and witness your bad day get even worse, my ass was supposed to be in front of Alice at La Maison an hour ago. I'm seriously dead beyond words. I don't even know if she has already left the restaurant, having waited enough for me but I'm too fucking scared to call and ask" I shook my head in apprehension.

"Wait, is your friend Alice, a pixie like girl with short spiky hair?" Ben asked suddenly.

"Yeah, that's her. Have you seen her?" my eyeball swept the lobby frantically.

"She is outside in the parking lot. I just saw her arrive five minutes ago" he turned his head in that direction.

"Fuck my life!" I half walked-half sprinted towards the parking lot, my stilettos making awful 'clutt-clutt-clutt' sounds on the marble lobby floor.

"Good night, Ben" I yelled back at him. "The truth shall set you free" I heard the subdued 'ting' from the elevator and Tia screeching "BEN!" the next second, as I left the building.

I ran into the parking lot, preparing myself for death by strangling or a stiletto heel through my heart. I turned around the corner, towards my car and saw Alice, leaning against my very recently moderated Audi TT. She was deeply engaged with her iPhone.

As soon she heard me, She said "Bella, did you see what Katy Perry was wearing at the Haiti relief function ….?" she trailed off and squealed happily after a sec "Oh my god! Victor just mailed me, his new collection is ready!"

"I can't wait to see what he's come up with this time. Remember his organza and Georgette layered dress from last seasons fashion week?" Alice fished up a lightpen from her coat pocket and poked the screen for a bit longer " Ahh… yes! I could die in this dress and feel no pain" I was gaping at her, confused. Does that mean she's not mad at me? Or the storm just got postponed a few minutes because of Victor's new collection?

"Umm…. Hey Alice" I greeted her but it sounded more like a question.

"Hey Bella" she said, finally darting her eyes away from that wretched phone.

"Bella! You look …devastatingly beautiful! I pity the men who glances you tonight" Alice came to hug me and examined my dress through my unbuttoned trench coat.

"Are you wearing the Scarlet ferragamo?" she asked as she took a step back and leaned against my car again.

"Yes" I answered, still fucking confused at her behavior.

"Isn't it supposed to be backless?"

"It is" I confirmed, grinning crookedly in spite of myself.

"It's heart-breaking" she cooed.

"Umm… Alice?"

"Yes. Bella?"

"Why the fuck aren't you screaming bloody murders at me that I didn't show up La Maison's?" I asked.

"Oh, I didn't go to La Maison. I had a feeling that you were gonna be really late so I took a warm bubble bath, took my time to get dressed and came straight here. I just got here a few minutes ago"

"You had a _feeling?" _I gaped at her, bewildered. Alice has these wild intuitions time to time. And oddly enough they all come true in the end.

"Why the fuck didn't you call and tell me about your fucking premonition? I would have been able do things with out fucking killing myself every minute!" I was pissed.

"Hey! _You_ are the one who's late and I had another _feeling,_ that if I had told you about it then you wouldn't have make it outside your apartment at all, tonight" she chimed in an offhand tone.

"Well, thanks a fuckload for not telling me then" I said, sarcastically "Get in, I'm driving" I told her as I got in, myself.

"And, Where the fucking hell is your car? How did you get here?" I looked around for a sight of her silver BMW M5 (Alice doesn't drive her Porsche when she's just out and about in Manhattan, Especially since the cupcake incident)

"Oh, Mike dropped me" she shrugged "He has a date with Eric in the city anyway so he offered me a lift, I took it. And I wanted to go on a ride in the 'improved' Audi, anyway" she winked as she slid into the passenger seat.

"Yeah, thank you for my new "Bling-Bling" steering wheel" I smiled as I honked my new stone studded horn.

"Wasn't orange a brilliant touch? It goes so well with your glossy ash paintjob" she said, stroking the lather orange seats as we hit the highway.

"Oh, almost forgot!" she squealed, opening her Louis Vuitton clutch "Mike got you a present, too. He gave it to me because he was too scared to give it to you, himself"

Alice fished out a small round squishy thing from her bag.

"Is that a fucking doughnut?" I stepped on the break hastily, almost missing a red light.

"It's a doughnut keychain" she handed me the squishy ring. There was white cream script on the fake chocolate icing '**Cops like me better**' Alice and I both laughed simultaneously. That guy has some nerves.

"Well, I like it. It's cute" I laughed "It was very nice of him"

"I got to say, he did seem very pleased that you didn't hit him when I sent him to you today" Alice snickered at some private joke.

"Did he, now?" I fished my blackberry out of my pocket.

"Eyes on the road, Bella!" Alice warned in a stern voice "Who are you texting now?" she asked, suspicious.

"Oh it's nothing, just thanking a friend" I smiled my best innocent smile for her.

'_**Hey Mike, Thanx. I hope ur rite abt the cops tho. I realy dnt wnt u havin 2 change number plates again 2morrw coz dis tym I'm throwing a doughnut. Cheers.**_

_**3 Bella**__'_

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**Leave me some love and reviews so I can write faster. **


	4. Chapter 3: Charcoal Memories

**A/N: I DO NOT own Twilight. Stephenie Meyer owns the saga and its characters.**

**Hey every one. Okay so let me serve the turkey first. This is a BONUS chapter. I'm not going to update the fiction twice every week But I felt that, this chapter was necessary to publish before the next one comes out. Other wise Edwards's activities would have confused you guys.**

**So, the special appearance is still on for the next chapter.**

**Love you all, sempre.**

**

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**Bullets and Black roses**

**Chapter 3: Charcoal Memories **

**EPOV:**

Remember when Mommy told you "To be stronger, all you'll ever need to do is believe in yourself" and daddy said "violence is never the answer"?

Well, mommy lied and daddy just didn't want you to face the bitter truth yet.

You know what I say?

Nothing is ever going to be alright until you make it alright.

I say, you must learn to kill first and indulge in safety afterward.

It's a cruel world out there. And, you think I'm the bad guy just because I'm telling the truth?

In that case, Ignorance is motherfucking bliss for you.

**Love?**

There's a very thin fucking line between lust and delusion.

You think you are in love?

Congratulations! You've just crossed the line and officially became delusional.

And when that illusion dies people struggle to hold onto the remaining pieces of their shattered heart for the next delusion. Same practice, just with a different body.

**Life? **

Life is just a demonstration of someone dying without a real death scene. The only difference is, the pain stops once you are dead but the suffering continues every second you live.

**Believe?**

You make me laugh. When was the last time when you were in despair and there was someone there to hold your hand?

Everyone declares to be there for you. But they never truly mean what they say. Even when they are watching you drown, they articulate 'I am here' but secretly rejoice the fact that it's not them. You'll be all by yourself in the end. When the floor caves in between where you are standing. It'll be you beneath the black sky, surrounded by flickers when the moment begins to blur. Just you, all alone.

I've always found myself alone.

When there was nothing in view and nowhere to conceal myself, when the vivid dreams became charcoal memories and an ivory manuscript full of unspoken hopes was blazed, I could reach for them but I couldn't hold them in my hands. The ashes escaped like snow from the gaps of my fingers.

How can you even dare to believe when there is a 'lie' in 'be-lie-f', itself?

What? A bit too pessimistic for you?

Well, I'm a cynical man.

It's funny actually, someone once told me that to become cynical you first have to be an idealist and it's the loss of those ideals that creates the disenchantment.

But I fear I must be the only exception that proves the rule. I was born with out any ideals to loose at the first place and if I'd had them they wouldn't have lasted very long as I grew up.

That does sound like a very miserable way to live, I know. But hey what did I just tell you about dying a thousand deaths a day? It doesn't really end till the death scene comes ashore.

I was born in Chicago, 1987. My father Edward Masen was married to a beautiful woman named Elizabeth. In 1988, five years into their fruitless marriage Elizabeth gave birth to a gorgeous girl. They named her Alicia. They were happy with their only child, the star of their eyes, the significance of their lives while I remained somewhere else alone and forgotten.

My mother had an extraordinary voice. She used to sing and play the piano in a five star hotel in Chicago. The money the hotel paid her was not enough to meet her indulgences.

So she used to entertain the male guests occasionally in favor of cash. One unholy day in the face of this most unholy world my father Edward came to Chicago for a business deal and decided to stay at the same hotel. He met my mother and 10 months later, I was born. My mother named me after him.

My mother's singing career came to an end when I was four years old. The hotel fired her and prosecuted her for the debt she owed the hotel for RFB (Room, food, beverage) And when I say beverage, I mean eighty thousand dollars worth of beverage in four fucking years.

They took our shelter away and kicked us out into the streets. My mother then became a waitress in a food joint. That's the best she could do to afford a one room shithole apartment and cheap food on our table twice a day.

But she drank all the time and her male entertainment for money continued.

I remember those days when she used to make me sit in front of the television to watch 'Tom and Jerry' while some drunken jerk fucked the hell out of her just six feet behind my back.

I never got to tell her I never liked watching the never ending chase of the cat and the mouse. If I was Tom I would have caught jerry long before and enlighten it 'Don't fuck with me. I don't like being fucked around' before killing it. And also the fact, that no matter how greater of a havoc Tom and Jerry caused on the TV screen, they weren't just loud enough to engulf the other disturbing sounds issuing from behind me. But I never looked back, not even as a curious child. I knew, the sight couldn't be any better than the sounds.

On the evening before my sixth birthday a guy came to our shithole to have a 'good time' with my mother and he couldn't believe that my mother fucked people with me in the same room. He refused to have sex in front of me. My mother needed the money badly for her nightly booze so she locked me up in our dirty bathroom and fucked that finicky motherfucker loud and hard.

I patiently waited for her to let me out of the bathroom. But after a while I heard the male leave the place followed my mothers hurried footsteps just a few minutes later.

I waited all night perched on the grimy bathroom floor, my ear pressed against the rickety door. But all I could hear was the sickening sobs coming out of my own chest. My eyes dried out eventually and I fell asleep, curled into a ball, cold and hungry.

The next morning the door flew open and my mother bustled inside, scooping me up in her arms. She sobbed loudly how she was so sorry, she passed out drunk in a bar. She held me tightly against her chest as she whimpered and blubbered apologies. I let her ruin my only favorite shirt and I was the one consoling her then. I told her that I knew she didn't mean it. I had said "Don't cry mommy, anyone can make a mistake!" She apologized again and again for forgetting me.

She promised me that she would never drink again.

That day she took me out with her, we had no money to celebrate my birthday. So she took me to the bakery and made a deal with the baker. The owner of the bakery would give me a small pound cake if my mother washed and dried all the dishes back in the kitchen.

It took my mother almost two hours to scrap, rinse and wipe all the filthy dishes by hand. But she did it. I remember, walking back to our place, holding my mothers hand as she carried the cake.

Back home, my mother conjured an old white candle out of nowhere that didn't look anything like the colorful thin, stripy ones people usually used on cakes.

She told me to blow the candle out and make wish. Just one wish, but a good one.

I wished for my mother to keep her promise till the day she dies.

Well, my wish came true. She didn't break her promise and I didn't have to wait long for her death either.

The next morning when I woke up, her arms were still wrapped around me but her soul had left her body. She was gone.

Later the lady from the social services explained to me, my mother had died from liver failure.

That was the first time I felt truly alone. That day was marked as the commencement of the end of my sanity.

It took the social services two weeks to track down my father who didn't have the slightest acknowledgement whatsoever of my existence. I remember the shock on his face when the social services dropped me at his doorstep and explained to him that I was indeed, his son.

My father refused the claim at first, saying he would have known if he had a six year old son somewhere. But they just took some DNA samples from him and assured that they will provide me with other accommodations if the results turn out to be negative. And they left me there.

The following week, neither my father nor Elizabeth spoke to me. The only time his wife asked me a direct question was "What is your name?"

The atmosphere in the Masen house became overwrought. But the one person who was indifferent in that situation was Alicia.

The first thing she ever said to me was "Edward! Do you know my daddy's name is Edward too? But I'm not allowed call _him_ by his name. But I can call you 'Edward'. Yay! Edward!" she jumped up and down with joy.

The husband-wife didn't talk to each other in front of me but I could hear their angry screaming and the smash of things breaking at nights. Alicia would come in my room whenever the screaming got worse, dragging her teddy bear along with her.

"Mommy and Daddy are making too much noise. I'm scared Edward. Even teddy can't sleep. See? He has dark circles around his eyes" she would hold her teddy in my face.

"Mommy says you get sick when you don't get enough sleep. Can Teddy and I sleep in here with you? Can we? Please Edward? You don't want him to get sick, do you? Do you, Edward?"

She slept in my room- gripping my night shirt in her fists whenever there was another noise- almost every night for two weeks until my DNA results came.

I was playing with Alicia in the living room. She had a small toy key-board that was her favorite but she was too young too make music that you could enjoy without begging god for deafness. The only thing my mother was ever able to teach productively me in her short life was how to play the piano.

So I used to make up my own music on Alicia's little key-board and she used to watch my fingers glide across the black and white keys. Her wide hazel eyes, filled with awe as music came out.

That morning I just finished playing one of my 20 second long creations for teddy and her for the fifth time in a row when Elizabeth came into the room, carrying two heavy suitcases. She looked miserable, her eyes were swollen from crying and her whole face was blotchy.

She told Alicia to gather up her toys because they were leaving. Forever.

"But we can't leave Edward here alone, mommy!" she flinged at her mother.

"He won't _be_ alone. Your daddy is gonna stay here with him" Elizabeth told her daughter.

"Daddy isn't coming with us?" the five year old thought she was going vacationing or something.

"No, sweetheart. It's just you and me" she told Alicia without meeting her eyes.

"What about Edward? I don't want to go without him" her little fingers clenched securely around mine.

This time Elizabeth's voice became harsh "You don't need to worry about _him._ His father will look after him. He chose _him_ over us"

"But mommy, he is my friend. I want to take care of him too. Just like I take care of teddy" she was crying at that point.

After half an hour of further screaming, crying and begging at the same time, she calmed down a bit and asked her mother if forever was a long time.

"I don't know Honey" her mother whispered, eyeing me warily.

"Well, can I come and visit Edward when 'forever' is over?" she asked her mother, finally defeated.

Elizabeth nodded quietly in agreement and burst into tears herself.

"Did you hear that, Edward? I can come and play with you again after 'forever'" She hugged me, smiling. Then she picked her little key-board up and told me that she wanted me to have it "You can keep it, if you get real good at it then maybe you can teach me when I come back"

"Honey, go wait in the car outside for me please" Elizabeth told her.

"Take care of Daddy for us till 'forever', Edward" Alicia said as she let go off my hands.

"I will" I promised, fighting back tears.

As soon as Alicia left the house, Elizabeth came over and crouched down in front of me.

"I thought I could do this. I really tried. But I'm just not strong enough. Every time I look at you it reminds me of what your father did to me, how he betrayed my trust"

I was confused. I didn't know what you had to do in order to break someone's trust.

But I felt sorry for her regardless. I didn't like tears. They reminded me of my last day with my own mother.

I wiped her tears with my fingers and she flinched when I touched her. I didn't care.

I said "I'm sorry for whatever my father did to you"

"Me too, Edward. Me too" she kissed me on my forehead before picking up the suitcases and heading towards the door.

"Goodbye, Edward. And always remember that none of this is your fault" those were the last words I ever heard from her.

That was the last time I saw Alicia too.

Of course, none of that was my fault.

My mother died because she drank her way into her grave and my father lost his loved ones because he's got an illegitimate child. They suffered the consequences of their own mistakes. I knew none of those were my fault.

Because, I _was _the fault. I was the fucking mistake _myself._

If you accidentally trod on filth while walking in the streets, you can always clean your self up once you're home. But no one takes care of the filth that still remains where it was.

My father came home late that day and found me alone, clutching Alicia's keyboard to my chest. He asked me where everyone was and I told him that they had left forever.

He didn't believe at me first.

He was a cynical man too. I guess I inherited cynicism from my father.

He called me a 'liar' and ran upstairs to check all the rooms. He found their closets empty, belongings gone and finally comprehension dawned on him. They left him. They left me. They left us. Period.

He walked over to me quietly and his knees gave out, he slid onto the floor beside me. He didn't shed tears but the look on his face told me whatever he had done to Elizabeth, must had been something truly awful.

I wanted to reach out to him, to comfort him and tell him what I had told my mother.

But I was scared of him. Elizabeth had recoiled when I touched her. What if he hit me if I do the same to him?

I wanted to make him happy, like the way I made Alicia and my mother happy when I played for them.

I picked up the key-board and played the first piece my mother taught me 'We shall overcome one day' mixed with a few of my own meaningless compositions. It came out beautifully.

And he smiled. He fucking smiled. That was the first time I ever saw my father smile.

He asked me where the additional music had came from and I told him I made it up.

He smiled again and I become conscious of the facts that I had his smile, the same lopsided smile. And his hair, the same disarray of tousled auburn hair.

Things got better as time went on. He got me into a school and I was doing well. I had a few friends who didn't think I was a mistake. My teacher informed my dad I was interested in music so he made arrangement for me to take piano lessons. He hired help, a middle aged Romanian named Stefan. He took care of me and took me to school, helped me with homework, my piano lessons. He was a kind hearted man. He taught me how to ride a bike and how to swim. I liked him a lot. He was my friend.

My father was a busy man. He'd leave the house early in the morning and came home way past my bed time. I rarely got to see him. He just kept buying me new toys and candies.

But I wanted more from him, I wanted to do the things I did with Stefan with him.

But he was always gone.

My seventh birthday came and went by. I got a grand piano on my birthday. I was so happy. I wanted to play something special for him but he was out of the city again.

I played for Stefan instead. I remember asking him why my father was always gone. He told me that my father had a lot of money coming in from his businesses around the country. So he had to go away to invest and deal with them properly.

I didn't understand what he meant by that but I did seem to realize that we did have a lot of money. At first, I thought everyone who was not as broke as my mother had the same amount of riches. But as I grew up I understood that my father had more money than most others.

One day Stefan didn't come to work. My father tried to make contact with him but he couldn't find him anywhere. It was like he vanished from the face of this world without a trace.

So he hired someone else. He was a younger and taller man with long sandy hair. His name was James.

I didn't like him. He was nothing like Stefan had been. All he ever did was eating and lurking around my fathers study and bedroom. I saw him roaming around the house with a note pad in his hands, ticking and crossing stuff as he eyed our belongings greedily.

I wanted to inform this to my father. I knew something was just not right with James. He used to snap at me and make me fetch him food from the refrigerator as he sat on his lazy ass and watched violent movies. I saw how people killed people. How the characters fired guns. I remembered asking James "what's that thing the guy always slides before firing his gun?"

"That's a called safety-catch, you idiot" James said, not even bothering to dart his eyes away from the television screen.

"A safety what?" I asked.

"That's the sliding breech cover of an automatic gun" he explained impatiently. "You slide it, and the gun's ready to fire"

"How many times do you need to shoot someone before he dies?" I asked again.

"Why do you need to know?" he finally looked at me.

"This man" I pointed out the leading actor on screen "got shot four times, I counted. But he's still walking" I looked him in the eyes.

James winced a little. That seemed to happen a lot with people around me when I made direct eye contact for any amount of time with them. Especially with strangers. They'd all wince at first just like James and then quickly look away.

"Well, it's a movie, isn't it? No matter how many times he gets shot at he wont die before saving the girl" he tried to humor me, but I asked again, in a steel cold but pleasant voice.

"How many times?" I kept my gaze fixed at him. I knew it was making him uncomfortable. I wanted him to be uncomfortable.

"I don't know" he said irritably "It depends. Once is enough if you can shoot him right between the eyes or through his heart. Twice if anywhere else in his torso, or thrice maybe just to make sure. But you don't die if you get shot in your arms or legs" he said, looking at his feet.

"So, how many times do _you_ prefer to shoot when you kill people?" I asked.

His head shot up and he looked at me again. I stared back at him, smiling. I happily noticed a slight shudder run through his body. He blinked at me a couple of times before he gained control of himself.

"What kind of stupid question is that? Why would I want to kill people?" he tried really hard to exhibit anger in his tone but his insignificant twitching gave him away.

"Please James; what I _meant_ was if you ever had to kill someone, how many times would you have fired at him?" I was still smiling gently at him. He was growing more edgy by each passing milliseconds. He could tell very well that was not at all what I meant.

"I don't see how it's any of your business! If it was you I would have fired plenty of times just to shut you up, you can count on that" he said, deeply annoyed "And don't stare at me like that. It's creepy!" he focused his eyes back on the TV again.

A week later, I heard James talking to somebody on the phone

"I'm telling you he keeps nothing in this house. I checked the whole place. There's only a safe in his study and its full worthless paper documents, nothing that we can use. I did a bit of background checking. He keeps all the cash and jewels in high security volts of multiple banks all over the country. So the only way we can get our hands on his money is if the cheeky old bastard comes in and signs us a check himself" he whispered hoarsely.

Then whoever was on the other side became verbal and James just listened to him quietly for a long while.

"I guess I could do that" he finally said.

"It'll be easy" He confirmed.

"Listen we'll talk about this later. I don't want to be overheard" he looked around uneasily.

"Humph! You don't fucking know how it feels, it's like that little fuck sees right through me, into my soul" he flinched.

"What the fuck do you mean you didn't know I even had a soul?" he retorted angrily.

"Go fuck yourself" he hung up, noisily.

I knew he was talking about me when he said 'that little fuck' I knew something bad was coming but never had I imagined it would happen what happened the very next day or that it would happen so soon.

I woke up in the morning and my father had already left for work as usual. I got dressed for school and went downstairs to get some breakfast. I walked into the kitchen and I saw James standing behind the island, looking down in his hands.

"Good morning, James" I greeted him as usual.

"You too" he said "Hey come and take a look at what I've got over here" He beckoned me forward.

I walked over to him, a white folded handkerchief rested on his palm. A sweet funny smell was issuing from it. I leaned in closer to get a better look but before I could move or think he pressed the handkerchief against my face. I couldn't breathe. The intoxicating odor overcame my senses and my vision blurred. My body lost its ability to move and my mind its ability to think. My eyes drooped and everything went black. It was like being sucked into a never-ending vacuum of darkness.

When I opened my eyes later, my sight was still hazy. I felt incredibly numb. I was vaguely aware that I was someplace other than my school or home. I wanted to sit up, stretch and look around but my limbs weren't responding.

I could hear multiple male voices talking excitedly a few feet away from me. I recognized one of them as James's but the others were completely unfamiliar to me.

"It was easy as cake. This creepy little fuck is as stupid as his old man. I'm telling you the only real job I had to do in this whole operation was to take care of that barmy old faggot Stefan" He laughed and a few others joined him.

My eyes snapped open and I sat up quietly. James killed Stefan. He killed my friend. I looked aground the place carefully. James and three other men were sitting around a round table, drinking beer and playing cards. And another man, who looked very different from the lot, sat a good 10 feet away from them in a corner sofa. He had sleek, jet black hair and he was looking at me with intense grey eyes.

I stared back at him just as silently, wondering when he would wince and look away. But he didn't. He kept direct eye-contact with me. He looked amused, in a way. I stood up and he smiled at me. My heart gave a lurch and for the first time in my life I was the one who looked away uncomfortably.

Only then I could grasp what James had meant about me being creepy. It felt like he was reading every thought that was going through my mind, seeing right into my core. I felt naked and vulnerable under his gaze. I wondered indistinctly if _my _'creepy' gaze had the same kind of impact on others.

"James, I think our little friend has awakened" he said in a smooth, sing-song voice.

At his words, all the eyes in the room darted towards me. James got up a seized a bunch of ropes from a box and ensued towards me.

"Now now, James I think that's hardly necessary. I don't think this child is going to try and escape" He stared at me again. And I felt like a insect that was being dissected under a microscope.

"Are you, child?" this time he asked me directly.

"I know you already know" I answered clearly. I could tell that this man was more dangerous than all the others in that room combined. I knew he was respected and feared. But I just couldn't bring myself to fear him.

"How extraordinary!" He chimed happily. "And yet such a waste" he looked directly at James, who looked away uneasily, just like he did under my stare. It looked like him and I shared the same gift of 'creepiness'

"What? Are you out of your mind, Aro? We are not making the call for ransom till midnight" James tried to reason with him "What if he screams and…" he was saying but Aro cut him off.

"Were underground, in the middle of nowhere James" he said, not darting his eyes away from mine.

"Thank you Aro" I smiled and he beamed back at me.

Our exchange was noticed by everyone else in the room. James muttered something darkly that sounded like "Sinister fuckers…..like one of them wasn't enough…." As he sat back down again.

"Are you hungry, child?" he inclined his head towards the bowl full of apples on his side table.

I _was_ hungry. And I was pretty sure Aro knew that. I didn't bother to answer his question. I silently walked over to the table, picked up an apple and sat beside Aro on the sofa.

I heard others gasp and hiss at my actions. But Aro continued to beam at me, completely at ease.

I stared at Aro as I took big bites from my apple. He stared back at me with even more intensity than before. But this time his expression was different. Curiosity dominant in his brilliant grey eyes. I felt like I knew what he wanted to ask me. I don't know how, I just had an intuition that he wanted to know why I wasn't afraid.

I finished my apple and cleared my throat "I am almost eight years old. I know what fear is but I do not fear you. Fear and respect are two different things, Aro" I smiled at him.

Aro's eyes sparkled as he burst into laughter. Everyone looked up at him including James.

"They surely are" he nodded in confirmation as he beamed up at me like a proud parent does at his triumphant child.

"Take another apple child" he handed me the bowl. And I noticed with shock that there was a gun hidden under the fruits. I looked up at him curiously but he was busy fixing his perfectly tied shoelaces.

I sat with the bowl on my lap, staring at James who was drinking like a fish.

"James, how many times did you shoot Stefan when you killed him?" I asked politely.

James looked up from his cards and smirked sickeningly. Aro cocked and eyebrow at him.

"It's a long story, Aro" he shrugged and his gaze fell on me again.

"Once" he flashed me his filthy teeth.

"In his head or through his heart?" I asked again, my smile never wavering from my face. But my insides were burning in fury.

"I shot him right between his eyes kid. There, I said it. You happy now? …..you know there's something seriously wrong with you. And what's up with the staring? You creepy little fuc…." But James never got to finish his sentence.

A few things happened concurrently at that moment. The fruit bowl in my hands fell down and smashed into a thousand pieces. I imagined an invisible target right in the centre of his forehead as I slide the safety-catch unlock. James and the others looked up with pure horror in their eyes as I pulled the trigger.

The next minute, James's inert corpse rested peacefully on the carpeted floor with a small hole in his skull.

And that's the first time I killed another human being in my life. The first of my many.

* * *

**Leave me some love and comments and forgive for the typos.**

**lots of reviews so…….. I can write faster. **

**Sabrina (RobstenWish)**


	5. Chapter 4: Scarlet lust

**A/N: I DO NOT own Twilight. Stephenie Meyer owns the saga and its characters.**

**Hey guys ! How was your week? I had a fucking long one!!!! Moving your ass across country is tough ass job!** **Anyway here is chapter 4 and 5 is coming up next week!! **

* * *

**Bullets and Black Roses**

**Chapter 4: Scarlet lust**

**BPOV:**

It was a warm and peaceful Saturday morning in Manhattan. The sun shone brightly in the sky. Patches of penetrating sunrays leaking into the room through the gaps between snowy white curtains danced playfully over the foot of the bed. I wiggled my toes a bit. My perfectly pedicured nails glistened in the light coming through the extended French doors. French doors……French doors! Wait just fucking minute there… I don't have French doors in my bedroom.

My eyes snapped open and quickly sat up, looking around frantically. My head hurt and stomach gave a twist. Where the fuck was I?

I was in a huge room with white furniture's. There were a lot of magazines, books and a laptop lying haphazardly on a coffee table a few feet away from me. The floor was almost invisible under the layers of empty M&M wrappers, coffee cups, beer cans, water bottles and cigarette packets. A LOT of empty cigarette packets. And clothes. There were clothes everywhere. T shirts and jeans lying on the floor, on the couch, and there were two huge cardboard boxes full of dirty cloths in the corner of the room. I was just hoping whoever boxed those stuff would burn them when I saw my scarlet dress lying on the floor next to pair of dark jeans and black and white Nike snickers.

I looked down at myself. I was wearing a grey stoli shirt that was a lot bigger size than me. It just came down to my ass. Whoever this shirt belonged to must have some deep emotional attachments to it because the logo was badly faded and bits of it that were coming off were carelessly sewed back with blue thread. Oooh… if only Alice was here to see what I was wearing! There would have been a fucking carnage.

Then my eyes fell on the owner of this horrible shirt. He was laying flat on his stomach, his head was turned the other way only his bare back and tousled chestnut hair was visible to me.

What the fuck happened last night?

I remembered flickers from last night. I remembered being in my Audi with alice… I remembered Zafrina dressed in a far top and lather shorts…. I remembered her showing us around and we saw a…. horse? Yes it was a horse; in fact there were four of them. I remembered patting the pretty white one….. I remembered fire …. Flaming glasses…. I remembered Alice on the bar top ….. Alice doing tequila shots one by one from another person's body who was lying flat on the bartop? I remembered myself dancing with someone but I can't remember who… I think I might have elbowed some hard because he touched my back. Touch me….

Suddenly I recalled my own voice begging someone to touch me. And rest came flooding back to me. Him kissing me… the way his tongue glided with mine… the feel of his arms around me… his lips on my throat, my shoulders, my stomach, his hands cupping my tits, his long fingers tangling with my hair… his bluish gray eyes snapping open with pure lust and boring into mine as I gripped fingers around him …. My fists reclaiming his hair as he thrust inside me, deep and hard. I remembered my nails digging into his shoulders as my mind muddled in unimaginable pleasure.

I slowly leaned in closer to his sleeping body, squinting my eyes for some kind of proof that last night really existed and those moments of ecstasy were not just a part of my alcohol induced dreams. And surely enough there were scratch marks on his back and shoulders. I gasped at the sight. Fuck! That had to hurt… but I was sure I didn't recall him complaining when he received them.

I slowly reached out and brushed my hand against his back, my fingers running through his hair and resting on his spine. A slight shudder passed through his body when I touched him again. I left my hand on his back and he stirred, rolling onto his side and facing me… and his visage knocked me fucking off. His gray eyes were a few shades brighter than list night; his lips were the natural shade of pink for which Alice would've swam across any ocean to get it in lip-gloss. He had slight stubble from last night and his jaw…. All my thoughts messed up again as I eyed his jaw.

"Oh… hey… good morning, Isabella" he yawned loudly.

"Good morning! Errr…" I was kicking myself for not being able to remember his name.

"Ouch! That hurt, Isabella. You can't even remember me?" he asked in a sexy British accent.

"I'm sorry. I don't have much recollection of last night" I hung my head in shame, my cheeks blushing thirteen shades of red.

He popped up on one elbow and took my hand is his. "You don't remember anything?"

"Well, I do remember some things…." I trailed off suggestively as I brushed fingers cross his chest and another shudder ran through his body. He had a little chest hair but not in a gross way. I liked it. He was definitely no body builder but his abs were firm and toned. He looked sexy. Really sexy.

"Oh you remember this, do you?" He smirked as he caught my hand in his and pulled closer so that his arousal was pressed up against my stomach.

"Fuck! Rob" I gasped "yes I do" I whispered as his name came screaming back to me. Or rather I remembered myself screaming his name repeatedly when I told him to make me cum last night. His name is Robert pattinson. He is an actor.

"Good girl, she remembers my name" his hand disappeared into the stoli shirt I was wearing "Now, tell me Isabella, what else do you remember?" his fingers glided across my stomach, the heat from his hand burning my skin and raising other senses that originated from the most feminine parts of my body as his other hand grabbed my ass lightly.

"Do you remember this?" he asked playfully as he his nose glided against my jaw and he brushed a few stands of my hair back so he could take my earlobe in his mouth. "Fuck" I gasped throatily as his bit me softly once and leaned away to look down at me questioningly.

"I …I …I…" I struggled for words. His presence was greatly obstructing my though process "I….I need to take this call" I broke free from his erotic embrace and bolted from the bed as Alice's 'Supermassive Blackhole' rang loudly through out the room.

"Where the fuck is my phone?" I looked around hysterically. I saw him wrapping a white bed sheet around his waist as he stood up to help me look for my phone. I looked under the bed and there was a shirt along with my shoes but no cell phone.

"I got it" he called suddenly and I bumped my head on the corner of his bed frame. He handed me my scarlet phone and kissed me on the sore spot lightly.

"Hello Alice" I said as I rubbed my forehead.

"Bella! Where. The. Fuck. Are. You?" she seethed in a voice colder that ice.

"Calm the fuck down, Alice. I'm alright" I whispered as I watched Rob slip into a pair of faded blue jeans and walk over to a telephone set on the bed side table.

"Bella, I'm still waiting for an answer" Alice said bitterly.

"I'm with some one" I told her.

"Are you talking about that British actor who was wearing a great dirty stoli shirt and a black beanie?" her tone softened a bit and I could almost hear a smile in her voice.

"Yes, I am at his hotel" I confirmed.

"Uhh… Isabella?" Rob called with his hand covering the telephone mouthpiece "Sorry but I'm ordering room service. Do you want anything?" he asked politely.

"Yes, Get me a toothbrush, a bathrobe, a few extra towels and anything edible with a lots of chocolate in it" I smiled back at him.

"Was that him? Whoa! Sounds like beanie boy has a very very very sexy accent" Alice sneered into the phone.

"Yes he does. And now if you don't mind I'm going to go and take a shower" I said as I eyed the dirty T shirt I was currently in.

"Bien sûr and I'm sorry for disturbing you guys. Bella, I just get worried you know. I woke up this morning on Zafrina's couch sporting a terrible headache and you were gone. No one could tell where you were and you weren't answering your phone. So kept trying and I thought…. " Alice blurted out under her breath.

"You worry too much Alice, I'm OK 'sain et sauf" I said "More than fine actually" I smiled as I saw Rob put the phone down and look up at me. He had such a cute smile.

"I'll talk to you later Bella; clearly your attention is occupied with somethi….Someone else" Alice laughed as she corrected herself jokingly.

"Yeah, Later"

"Bye" I cut the line.

"Sain et sauf, huh?" he cocked an eyebrow at me.

"You speak French?" I asked him as he reached out and grasped my hand again.

"Oui, Hardly. I'm very bad at it" he admitted sheepishly as he pulled me closer so that I could sit on his lap.

"You are very bad at cleaning too" I teased him, my eyes darting across his place.

"I know" He smiled "I'm just a dirty old lad".

"What is in those boxes?" I asked, pointing at them.

"I never wash anything. I just buy new cloths when I'm out of clean things to wear. So, those are my dirty laundry from last couple of months and I'm waiting to send them to my mum in London" He laughed.

"I hope that was a joke" I stared at the boxes, bewildered.

"Its not" He said a matter of factly and we heard a knock followed someone calling "Room service!"

"Ahh…Excuse me, Isabella" He said sweetly and I got from his lap. I watched him as he quickly picked up a shirt from the floor and went to answer the door. The guy who brought the trolley in looked around Rob's room and his smile faltered as he took in the unbelievable mess.

"Will you be needing anything else, Sir?" he asked Rob, trying his best to be polite. But he looked like as if he was about cry after witnessing the state of the room.

"No thank you" Rob slammed the door behind him.

"That's why I don't like ordering room service. I wake up every morning and my room is too messy to let another human being in. So I end up eating M&M's for breakfast and it takes me about five hours to find them. That's how I spend the first five hours of my day, by the way" he explained as he handed me the toiletries and pushed the trolley towards the bed.

"That explains the M&M wrappers. And judging from all the coffee cups and cigarette packets, you lead a very stressful life" I smiled as I heard him gasp when I pulled out of his stoli shirt and shrugged into the soft bathrobe. I never understood the deal with people and nudity. I mean It's just skin. Every woman looks the same when naked. And its not even like he hadn't seen me a lot more naked than this last night.

"That I do" he whispered slowly, licking his lips. I gulped, recognizing desire in his voice again.

"Ok then, what is for breakfast?" I asked quickly, trying to change the topic.

"Umm… Eggs and Bacon for me …and …. I don't know… I told them to bring up everything they had with chocolate in or on it" He eyed the trolley full of chocolate delicacies.

"What… are you…" I began but couldn't continue as I saw the embarrassment on his face. What a goofball! What an adorable, sexy as fuck British goofball….

"Thank you, Robert" I said sweetly and he smiled back.

"Now, I'm going to take a shower before we have a very chocolaty breakfast. I don't think I would fit into what I wore last night anymore" I joked.

"Rubbish, Isabella" he said "What you wore last night killed half of my brain cells along with my self-control. All I could think about was you and your red dress. All I wanted to do was discover the few parts of you that this dress of yours did manage to conceal" he recalled as he shook is head in realization. "But let me be the one to admit, you looked irresistible in that thing. Breath-taking, heart stopping, flawlessly beautiful"

"Its nice to know you had a good time" I looked up at him blushing eighty four shades of scarlet

"Would I ever get to see you again after today?" he asked innocently.

"No, I don't think so Rob. And I don't think Kris would like it very much if you did" I said as more of last nights memories came screaming back to me.

"Wha…Wait do you…how do you know Kristen?"

"I don't. But you called me by her name more than once when we were… you know you called me kris last night" I explained, blushing slightly. Is it weird that I didn't feel any resentment towards him for calling my by another women's name during fucking me? I don't know. But I just didn't or couldn't find it in myself to be envious of whoever Kristen was. His love for this woman was as clear as daylight in his brilliant grey eyes.

And people don't just love people easily just as they don't forget the person they love or once had loved easily. I know that's a bit rich coming from me…. The angel of death.

But I'm not stupid and nor is Robert. Fucking someone you are just attracted to don't make you love him/her or leave the one you love.

"I'm sorry, Isabella. She does look a lot like you" he took my hand and gave it light squeeze, looking down at his feet.

I pressed my palm against his right cheek and he leaned into my hand instinctively.

"You really love her, don't you?" I smiled.

"It doesn't matter. She doesn't know. She doesn't feel the same way about me. She never did" he said without meeting my eyes.

"Well, have you told her?"

"Yes, I even asked her to marry me like four times, not seriously. But, I did confess my love to her, and you can't be any more serious than that. I guess she couldn't find enough earnestness in my words or whatever. And, She has a boyfriend anyway" he hung his head.

I let my hands lay against his cheek and my other hand curved around his neck slowly so that I could make him look at me.

"The day when she'll seriously take your feelings into account will be the day that'll change her life forever. I don't know why anyone wouldn't want to be with you… to love you" I touched his lips tenderly with mine "She is truly a very lucky woman" I whispered and his lips moved with mine.

"But you don't want to be with me" he stated firmly, pulling away from me and holding me at his arms length. His eyes sparkled silver-gray in the brilliant daylight that brightened the room.

"I don't" I admitted. There was just no other way to explain what I was feeling right at that moment. Its not like I wasn't attracted to him and it would be a huge lie if I said that my spirit wasn't impaired by the truth. But I'll be damned if kept him away from his destiny. It was almost inevitable that he and Kristen would find their soul mates in each other eventually. It's just a matter of time now. This kind of love can not be buried under layers of ashy lava rocks beneath the surface of this earth or a colossal frozen substantiation of a raged avalanche. This kind of love breaks out of all the imaginable barriers people put between them and their hearts. I know that Rob would never be able to want me the way he wants her. And that's not good enough for me. I might not be much when it comes to relationships or love I want to be somebody's Kristen too.

"I don't date, Robert" I smiled apologetically "and you and I are very different people, regardless. You are like a glass filled with aged white wine, purity and maturity that you can see from outside. And I am like a cube of ice, you can pick me up and hold me in your hands for a while, you can close your fist around me. It will hurt but in vain. I will turn into water and escape from your hold" I said.

"And when that happens, you will have no one else but yourself to blame for trying to make the impossible possible" I added.

"Then I should tell you that you should not underestimate the probability of sheer stupidity" he laughed.

"I wouldn't want to think you are stupid, would I?" I smiled back at him.

"I guess this is goodbye then" his voice was sad.

I freed myself from his grip and took a few step forwards to the bathroom door and turned around, slipping out of my bathrobe.

"No, it'll be goodbye when I say goodbye. For now, I'm just going to take a shower in your bathroom. You mind?" I mocked him. His mouth was hanging open.

"Do _you_ mind if I join you in the shower?" Rob asked tentatively.

"If you want some, come get some" I quoted John Cena. And don't ask me why.

"If I what?" he asked omitting the distance between our bodies in long strides.

"Oh just shut up and kiss me already" I whispered as I wrapped my arms around his neck and lips met for the last time.

* * *

I was sitting in La maison's waiting for Alice. She was being late, which is a first for her. Alice is as fucking punctual as an omega wrist watch. I was sitting with a black rose in front of me. That was a first time too. When I got back home from Rob's hotel this afternoon, I found a parcel waiting for me in the lobby. The sender address said

'From:

Rose black.

Forks. Washington.'

I asked the receptionist who had left it there but she said FedEx delivered it. I took the box back into my room and surely enough there was a single black rose inside. This was getting insane.

I was just thinking about what Alice would say when I show her this rose tonight when I heard foot steps an inch behind me. I turned around and saw Rob. He was dressed in a white dress shirt and a black blazer.

"Oh my god! What are you doing here" I squealed as I got up and flung myself at him. He put his arms around me too but there was something different about the set of his arms. He smelled different too. I mean, not in a bad way. Just different from this morning or last night. I tried to pull away but his arms were firm around my waist. I readjusted myself so I could look at his face. My stomach gave a sick flip and my suddenly violent heart wanted to come out of my orifice.

HE. WAS. NOT. ROB.

Though he looked a lot like him, he was taller and hunkier. His eyes were the most brilliant set of green I've ever seen against his pale complexion. His hair was a tousled disarray of reddish-brown. And his skin sent flames up my nerves wherever he was touching mine.

"Who are…." My words never managed to leave my throat because he pulled my face upto his and kissed me full on the mouth. My mind became muddied and I couldn't find it in me to protest. We kissed till we were both breathless and he whispered in my ear as soon as our lips parted.

"Don't move. Don't look behind you. Don't try and do anything funny" he hushed me with his hoarse undertone.

"My name is Edward Cullen and you…?" He asked me under his breath as he smiled angelically and pretended to tuck a stray lock of hair behind my ears.

"Isabella"

"Well, Isabella. If you disobey a word I say tonight, you'll be dead before sunrise" I smiled again, just like a lover smiles at his soul mate.

* * *

Leave me some love and reviews!!!!!  
Love you all, sempre!

_Sabrina


	6. Chapter 5: coral blue carnage

**A/N: I DO NOT own Twilight. Stephenie Meyer owns the saga and its characters.**

**Hey guys ! How was your week? I had a fucking long one!!!! **

****

sorry for not posting last week. Studying for an upcoming exam is fucking me up worse than Edward!!!!

* * *

**Bullets and Black Roses**

**Chapter 5: Coral blue carnage **

**EPOV: **

The night was as dark as the angel of death's heart. It looked like someone deliberately sprayed the sky with pitch black ink and did a very good job at it. I was leaning over the balcony railing. I checked the time on my Rolex as I lit another cigarette. This was my sixth one in the last half an hour. I was hiding out in the balcony to speak the truth. We're at Carlisle and Esme's place tonight and Esme has a strict rule 'No one smokes in my fucking house'. Its ironic actually, people are allowed to carry geared up revolvers, shotguns and anti-aircraft firearms into this place but not a lit cigarette. It's been almost 45 minutes since I took refuge in the third floor guest room. Carlisle sneaked me the key behind her back. And I was contemplating climbing down the pipes and getting the hell out of here. This house sickens me. is ok but enduring an hour with Esme is always bound to invoke unwanted memories. The same memories I worked very hard forget in the past five years. After Aro took me under his wing I became a cullen. Cullen is a kind of like a region code, named after Dr. Carlisle cullen. In our underworld, we divided the USA in 29 criminal states which include a few parts of Canada as well. And the Cullens run New York City. NYC criminals, starting from muggers and car stealers to the spies selling national "Top secret" information to foreign countries can't do fuck with out getting an ok from the Cullens first. It's like metropolitan area network. Criminals as individuals, groups, gangs and whatever other kinds of illegal gathering exists out there all have one thing in common.

A leader.

And the Cullens are the superior to them on the hierarchy. All the leaders have to answer to get a percentage of their money. And invest the money on restaurants, hotels, clubs, pubs and casinos to make the black money white. In short, everywhere and anywhere illegal activities take place. We make the connections. Our people supply drugs in exchange of firearms, Swap cash for stolen gold and diamonds, Provide young pussy for filthy rich bastards and a few more heinous things that even I don't know about yet.

And sometimes it's healthier not to know. Some things are better unknown.

And when you live a life carrying out these monstrosities, bloodbaths are inevitable.

I lost count of how many people I've killed, we've killed. How many families lost a daughter or a son or a sibling, how many children lost a parent, how many lost a spouse. At least I can console myself by recalling none of them were innocent. We don't kill another human being just because they are there. That's not our job. We kill people because they are stupid. Each, their own brand of stupid.

Some display stupidity by trying to steal from us, some by trying to hoodwink us, some by making an attempt to flee without clearing their debts. And another grand group of stupid fuckers get executed for trying to double cross or backstab us. Sometimes it makes me laugh, how easily they fall into their own traps. How they never realize the fact that we taught the principal of the school they learnt these foolish tricks from.

Stupidity.

Stupidity is a untrustworthy tendency because you can always predict what a smart person would or could do in any given situation but a stupid person can do anything because they are stupid and that's why you should never misjudge the odds of absolute stupidity.

Lucky for me and unlucky for some, in my world there's no place for idiocy.

And as I said before the consequence of stupidity is death and often I, myself am the one to deliver death to them.

I finished my eleventh cigarette. Eleven is a very powerful number. It is a prime number. Eleven is unique. It can't be divided by anything but eleven itself. Eleven people can built an army, make a soccer team. Eleven nations can conquer the world.

Eleven is the last number on the clock before a new day. A new start. Hence the saying "The Eleventh hour"

Eleventh hour is the last period to make something right, the last chance to change your decisions. The last opportunity to realize who you're now and choose who you really want to be.

I eyed my middle finger, there was a 'XI' tattooed on it like a band stamp. All the cullens have roman numberings on their middle fingers. It's a mark of our identity. All people have to do, is to look at the birdy and realize who they are dealing with.

I tossed my last cigarette out in the air. The burning tip vanished into the darkness below. I really hoped it didn't land on any of Esme's flower beds. She'd fucking shoot my ass for setting her precious orchids on fire. And that's no joke my friends. She was the one who trained me. Esme cullen is the one who taught me 'You must learn to kill before you can feel safe'

Fifteen years ago, after I killed James. Aro handed me over to Carlisle and Esme cullen.

I still remember it like it was yesterday…

_I was looking down at James's inert corpse resting peacefully on the carpeted floor with a small hole in his skull, with a smoking gun gripped firmly in my hand. I had never even touched a gun before that night, let alone shoot someone. Shoot someone dead._

_Just after I heard James exhaling his last breath I was sure I was down to my own last breath too. I laid the gun down on the floor and closed my eyes, waiting to get killed. I was wondering how it would feel like when dozens of bullets will pierce my body. I was waiting to fall back in darkness that'll swallow me up. For good._

_I heard chairs toppling over and the unlocking clicks of safety catches around me._

_One minute…_

_Two minutes…_

_Three minutes…_

_Nothing happened. I was still breathing. Still standing. Still alive._

_I slowly opened my eyes, hoping to see firearms pointing at me. But my view was obstructed by a tall figure. A man with long jet black hair was standing in front of me like a shield. Aro was protecting me. I couldn't see his face but I could observe the others. They had 'confused as fuck' written all over their mugs. After a few more seconds, they lowered their guns and hurried to huddle around James's corpse._

_Now Aro turned around, facing me. I thought maybe he wanted kill me himself but his expression was far from raged or upset. He silently picked up the gun from the dirty carpeted floor. And I could swear I saw a smile._

"_When you asked James where he shot Stefan…." He trailed off. Curiosity dominant in his eyes. _

"_I wanted him to suffer exactly the way he made Stefan suffer" I said politely._

"_Hmm… That seems only fair. But I have to say you were in luck that James hadn't shot Stefan in the heart or you'd have never been able find it" he said "I have a doubt he even had a heart" He mused to himself. _

"_And you've never held a gun in your hand before tonight?" he asked._

"_Aro, I am eight years old. I have never even laid my eyes on a real gun before. I saw how you shoot someone on TV and James might have mentioned the mechanics of it" I smiled up at him. I was both pleased and horrified at myself. I was glad I punished the scum who killed Stefan. But I was disgusted at myself for the killing a walking, breathing human being without feeling an ounce of regret about it._

"_Aaha… A natural. You are a gifted child, Edward. I can already see the potential. You are going to do extraordinary things in our world. Appalling but extraordinary" he added._

"_I don't want to be a part of your world" I said firmly._

"_Ahh…But surely no one wants to …they just have to" He said politely but making clear that was not a request but a command._

"_What happens if I don't feel the need of having to?" I asked, thinking about my new family. My dad, Elizabeth, Alicia. _

"_Let me tell you something Edward, over 2ooo children get kidnapped all over the world everyday. And only 20 of them survive to see another day and only 10 of those 20 children get to go back home. And that too, only if the kidnappers get busted. Now you tell me some thing, do you consider yourself among those 10?" he stared at me intently._

"_No I don't, Aro" I realized that there was no way the cops are coming to rescue me. Aro was not kidding and if I disagree my body will be buried along with James's tonight._

"_You are an intelligent child, Edward. I value intelligence" Aro stated but his hint was clear. Join or die. I remembered the promise I made to Alicia, to Elizabeth. That I would take care of my father for them. Then I thought if there was any way out of this vice grip of malevolence. Even if I said that I wanted to go back home and even if they make the call for ransom there's no possibility of me still being alive tomorrow. They'd just take the money, trick my father and kill me regardless. They didn't blindfold me or use code words. I could recognize all of their names and features in a heartbeat so it was evident they were planning to murder me anyway. _

"_I will do whatever you tell me to do Aro but under just one condition" I thought of my father. I was sure he wouldn't be stupid enough to involve cops in this matter and when he does come alone with the cash there's a huge probability of him getting killed because of me. And that, I wouldn't let happen. I shall not break my promise. _

"_You don't make a ransom call to my father; you don't bother him with any kind of information. You make it certain that I, Edward Masen Jr. vanish off from the face of this earth just like that" I snapped my fingers "And I shall obey your every command" I stated, looking him in the eyes. _

"_Wonderful! You truly are one of a kind, Edward. Consider your prerequisites fulfilled" he chimed._

"_Now, you are a natural shooter" he said shifting his gun from one hand to another._

"_And to shoot you need a gun. You see this.." he showed me his gun. _

"_Is a Desert Eagle .50. This gun is a bit heavier than others. But heavy is fine. Heavy is dependable. If you are out of bullets you can always hit someone in the head with it" He said walking over to his couch. I followed him quietly and reclaimed my previous position beside him._

"_This gun is my gift to you" he laid it on my lap. "But you'll only be able use it when you become 18. As for now, your temporary guardian is going to hold onto it for you"_

"_My What?" I asked, confused. I thought Aro was just thinking about including me in the lot that survives to see another day. This man was insane._

"_Your transitory guardian, Edward. You are just a child. You can't look after yourself. So I'm going to have to hand you over to someone who can" he explained. I was getting more agitated by every passing second but I struggled to keep a calm face. The fact that I was never going to see my father or my half sister again was killing me. But I had no other option._

"_What ever you wish, Aro" I gave in._

"_Don't worry child. You are a treasure to me. You will be in good hands. Your guardian is going to be the most practical and kind hearted person working for me. Esme cullen is going take great care of you and train you. She is one of our best shooters. And her husband Dr. Carlisle Cullen is going to teach you everything you need to know about our world. They are a pair of the best people I have. You will be a part of their family. After a year they are legally adopting you. You will stay with them as their son"_

"_But my father is still…" I started but Aro hushed me "you don't need to worry about that. You won't exist as a Masen anymore. They'll make all the arrangements. It's easy and has been done before many times. They already have another adopted son, Emmett McCartney. Well, now he is Emmett cullen. And likewise, you are going to be Edward cullen"_

_And an hour and a half later a woman with a heart shaped face and soft caramel brown hair was summoned there. She was voluptuous and looked no more than 27-28. She had the kind of face and persona that no one could ever distrust. She was wearing a loose-fitting violet turtleneck that came down to her thighs over a pair of stone washed denims. Judging by the way she glanced at me, I could tell she was Esme Cullen._

_After discussing a long while with Aro she turned around and faced me. I stared at her. She winced and looked away, caressing a mark on her middle finger. At first I thought it was a scar but when I looked properly, I saw there was 'IX' inked around her finger. She glanced nervously at Aro once more and Aro nodded in agreement._

_Then the woman came over to where I was standing and offered me her hand. I took it and she led me out of that place. When we were walking I heard Aro mutter something that sounded like "we'll meet again soon, Edward cullen"_

_The woman never let go of my hand as we climbed up a narrow staircase and walked through rooms full of cardboard boxes till we reached a white jeep. I was curios about what was in those boxes but I was contemplating either or not it was a good idea to ask her that question. But because I, was me; I decided to go for it. Surely, she's not going to shoot me just for asking a simple question._

"_What is in those boxes, Esme?" She haltered to a stop when I called her by her name and looked down at me. I stared back at her. She let go of my hand and said "Ammunitions" I kept my gaze locked with hers. _

_I was confused. What the hell is'Ammunition'? She understood and smiled. _

"_Firearms, Every thing starting from revolvers and shotguns to missiles and anti aircraft weapons"_

_All I could say was "OK" this was not a good sign. These people are criminals and their crimes are destructive, that I was sure about. Esme was still looking down at me, trying to read my face. She sensed my agitation and laughed quietly. _

"_Does that scare you? From what I've been told you have earned a Desert Eagle .50 yourself and even got to use it. Aro told me to hold onto it for you till you come of age"_

"_I won't be needing it anymore, thank you" I stated firmly. _

"_Oh! You'll need it alright. In our world a dog is not a man's best friend, a gun is" _

"_Still" I tried to stand my ground. _

"_Guns don't kill people, Edward. People kill people" she rubbed her tattooed finger again._

"_But they sure help" I looked up at her and she laughed again._

"_Aro was right about you. You have a gift" She said as she held the jeep's passenger door open and I saw a handsome man with back brushed blonde hair was already sitting in the driver's seat. He leaned forward and kissed Esme lightly on the lips. _

"_Edward, this is my husband Carlisle Cullen" He smiled, offering me his hand so that he could pull me into the jeep. And I noticed he had the same kind of inking around his middle finger. His was a 'VIII'._

"_Edward" He greeted me, fastening my seat belts on. It was obvious he had already been told my name._

"_Thank you Dr. Cullen" I thanked him as Esme crammed in beside me._

"_You are welcome, my boy. And call me Carlisle. You are a part of our family now, too…" He started to drive through a deserted road. _

"_The _eleventh _Cullen" Esme finished her husband's sentence._

"_Eleventh?"_

"_See this" she flipped her middle finger at me, if I hadn't seen the marking before I would have thought of it as a rude gesture "this is a mark of a Cullen. We all have them. I am the ninth cullen. Carlisle is the eighth" She pointed at her husband's finger._

"_Emmett is the tenth although he hasn't got his numbers marked yet. You need to be at least sixteen before we mark you permanently. It's like an identity Card so that others recognize you and show you the respect that comes with the cullen name in our world" she explained slowly and Carlisle leaned over a bit and ruffled my hair._

"_But how can names or guns buy other's respect? Don't you have to earn it?" I asked, bewildered._

_Carlisle looked at me and then at her. His eyes searching Esme's. Esme nodded in silent agreement and Carlisle shrugged._

"_Well, when you are a Cullen _and_ you're able to _make it alive_ till your eighteenth birthday to possess a gun legally, then you can rest assured that the respect you're being granted is earned and in some cases less than you actually deserve" Esme muttered bitterly. _

"_So, Am I a Cullen now?"_

"_It will take a few months get the paper works done for adoption and a few more months to get the other paperwork done which will prove that you are eligible for adoption. But other than that, as soon as you take your first step inside the Cullen residence you'll become a Cullen" Carlisle explained as we hit the highway._

"_Welcome to the family, Edward Cullen" Both of them whispered at the same time._

"Edward? Edward? Edward, are you in there? EDWARD!!!" Emmett's voice boomed, followed by heavy banging on the door.

"What?" I yelled back at him, irritated by his banging. "And who the fuck taught how to knock? I thought you were trying to bring the door down"

"Button your piehole and get your vain ass downstairs before Esme comes up here to find you. They are here, the Hale Twins" he toed me downstairs.

"Who are they?" Hale…hale… I was positive I've heard the name before.

"Jasper and Rosalie Hale. Jasper is the best con artist in our business And Rosalie… well Rosalie…" Emmett's cheeks flushed thirteen shades of red. Emmett is my adopted big brother. And he is big alright. He is huge and strong like a grizzly bear and has muscles like a serious body builder. His jet black hair is always cropped short like the U.S army.

People generally give Emmett a wide berth just in case. But he is actually the least hostile Cullen after Dr. Cullen himself of course. He is habitually friendly, all smiles and dimples that light up the whole fucking world. And judging by the still visible pink flush on his face whoever Rosalie Hale was, has tugged him in someplace others don't believe we possess. A heart.

"Okay let's just go downstairs and find out what kind of divine 'Pussy' has caught your tongue" I smiled and ducked as Emmett tried to smack me in the head "Fuck you Edward Cullen"

"You don't need to do that. Leading life as a Cullen has already fucked me up hard enough" I threw back at him simply.

"I guess nobody dies virgin in the Cullen family cause in the end life fucks us all" Emmett laughed bitterly.

"Fucking life fucking us before we fuck….."I was going to say something but Esme's voice tuned in from the bottom of the stairs "… And if I hear the word 'fuck' one more time, I'm seriously gonna fuck both of your asses up. Emmett, Edward, I raised you two better than this" Esme gritted her teeth and the both us snickered.

"Yes, Mom" Emmett put on his best guilty face. He knew Esme was a sucker for that face. Fucking bastard.

Esme was waiting for us at bottom of the stairs. She's my mother for all intense and purposes. She and Carlisle had adopted me when I was almost nine. And I had lived with them in this house till I became eighteen. Emmett and I moved out on the day after my eighteenth birthday and got our own place in Brooklyn. But Emmett likes to stay here more often than our place. He says it feels like the home he never really had. In a sense, that was true for me too. But this house sickens me. It's bad enough that I have to show my ass up here every time we have to confer an operation. And as our ops are never anything less heinous than torturing someone or plotting a murder, our conferences are not always civil. And, tonight we are recruiting two more people. We are here to welcome two more Cullens into our so called family.

"Where the hell did you vanish off to? You were smoking, yeah? I can smell it. Carlisle sneaked you the keys, didn't he?" She turned to glare at him and Carlisle suddenly became very busy with setting the knives and forks just right for tonight's dinner.

"Sorry, Esme" I kept my gaze locked with hers. Emmett calls her mom, I never did. She tried to encourage me when I was younger, but I told her 'I know my mother is dead' after that she gave up trying. But I can still see it in her eyes that she never actually gave up hoping that maybe someday I will call her my mother. I am a selfish person, I don't love or care for anyone beside myself. But sometimes, I can't help myself caring for Esme.

"Come, let's go. They are waiting in the living space and we can't start the initiation without you" she said, looking away and grabbing my hand. We walked into the living space with Carlisle tailing us. The first thing that caught my eyes was their hair; both of them had the same shades of honey blond hair. I saw Emmett laughing about something with the male blond and the female, who must be Rosalie, was sitting on Esme's lather couch wearing low cut black dress and black pearls. The first thought that comes to your mind when you see her is 'She has to be the most beautiful woman in the world' because of her long toned legs and gorgeous face but after the few seconds of charm gets over, you start to process the vain look on her face, the bitterness on the set of her lips, the fire in her amber eyes and the invisible walls all around her and she won't seem as beautiful anymore.

Esme led me forward to where the blond male was standing with Emmett. He had the same ocher eyes and was exceptionally handsome too. And unlike his sister he had an uncommon charm about him that'll make you curious, you'd want to know more about him and decipher his deepest and darkest secrets.

"Edward this is Jasper hale and Jasper, this is my other son Edward" Esme introduced us.

We shook hands and I noticed a thin strip of bandage wrapped around his middle finger.

"Already marked, huh?" I asked, smiling.

"Yep, unlucky thirteen" Jasper smiled back at me.

"So it's official then. Figures, Aro doesn't do anything half way through, does he?" I said.

"You tell me" an unfamiliar voice chimed in from behind with an obvious hint of sarcasm. I turned around and found Rosalie Hale standing a foot from me.

"Edward" she shook my hand and let go quickly. And judging from the thick band-aid around her middle finger, she has already been marked as the 12th Cullen.

"Rosalie" I greeted her. "It's a pleasure to meet both of you. And you're right Rosalie; Aro truly doesn't do anything without thinking it thoroughly. If he has asked Carlisle to include you two in our family than there's must be something special about you guys" I said politely.

"Special!" Rosalie scoffed and Jasper smiled.

"Well, As far as I have been told your brother is one of the best conman there is and you…." I trailed off curiously.

"Only a woman can make men talk with kisses" She smiled mischievously.

"I see. Nice. Making some people talk without pointing a gun at their faces is a hard job for us. Most of them, we have to kill after we get the information we need and the other few gets killed anyway for divulging secrets they weren't allowed to share" I mused "You are going make life easier for me and Emmett, and now for Jasper too" I looked at him and saw him eying my piano curiously.

Emmett turned and muttered something that sounded like "Speak only for yourself. She has made my life harder from the moment she stepped inside this house"

"Okay, now every one has met everyone. Lets get on with dinner and we shall discuss the next op afterwards" Esme declared and every one followed her into the dining area.

It has been a week after the initiation. Jasper and Rosalie Hales are now Jasper Cullen and Rosalie Hale Cullen (Rosalie absolutely refused to give up her own last name so we had to compromise on her part).

Tonight's op is to murder a silly fucker who dared to double-cross us. The Target's name is Wes McMordie. He is a highly secured drug dealer who made the mistake of co- operating with the NYPD and Aro wants him dead before he gets a chance to give us away. Emmett and Rosalie are sitting this one out. As planned, Jasper had wormed his way into his privet circle as a foreign client, he displayed himself as one of the haves in the Drug business and that idiot fucker swallowed it hook, line and sinker. Mcmordie has invited Jasper and his intrigued friend (that is me) to his deluxe Manhattan villa in order to finalize a deal. If only he knew he had invited us to finalize his death!

Again as planned, once we were inside the villa we didn't waste time and three minutes into his grand study, that old bastard was lying immobile on the expensive marble floor with a bullet in his heart.

As soon as we got the briefcase we were told to bring back, we emptied all the contents into the messenger bag Jasper was carrying and we were out of there. We managed to hoodwink the security but only for a short while, which gave us just about enough time to get in a car and step on it.

That was my first op partnering Jasper and by the looks of things, both of us thought that we had nailed it. But half way to the Cullen mansion, I was forced to turn around and drive risking life and limb.

I was counting … One… two … police cruisers tailing us and another pair closing the distance from both sides. Jasper shot at the one on our left and their windshield shattered into a thousand pieces. I drifted to my left and Jasper shot a few more rounds at the few that were still chasing us.

"Edward, I can't hold them off much longer! We have to get out of this car!" he shouted as he reclined back the passenger seat and rolled onto the back. He picked up a much heavier gun from the back of the seats and shot at them nonstop.

I have to say I was dazed to see him come as prepared when the plan was so simple. Too simple actually. I had a feeling something was just not right. The NYPD were not supposed to know fuck about it tonight. I smelled a rat but this was hardly the time to contemplate on that.

All I needed to do was save my own ass. I had to think fast, I drifted to my right and hit another car that collided with a minivan on its left. Those two vehicles created a barrier between our car and the cop cruisers. But that bought us only a few minutes, I saw Jasper kicking the back door open and making a run for it. I got out myself and ran through a narrow alleyway. I could still hear Jasper and the cops firing randomly at each other. I took out my Desert Eagle and landed on another neighborhood street. I intended to get myself mixed with the crowd but I heard someone yell "The other one went this way!" from behind. I stopped slowly and found out that "the other one" wasn't me, I saw Jasper running and shooting backwards at them simultaneously, he still had the bag. One of the cops caught a bullet in his right arm and his gun flew out of his hand and Jasper caught it. Now he was firing with both hands, vanishing into another alley. He knocked a woman down in his haste, she fell down awkwardly and her heel snapped. But I couldn't believe my eyes when that idiot Jasper offered her a hand, she took it but her leg was too hurt for her to stand up. So he mouthed her hurried apologies and sprinted over to a building and started to climb the fire escape ladder.

The moment his feet disappeared into an open window another team of armed cops bustled down the narrow alley. I don't know why I was still standing there but it felt like my legs were iced up.

I half-ran half-walked into a random restaurant, 'This is bad. This is really bad' I thought.

If I didn't think of some way out of this quickly, my ass would be on the line.

I hurried to find the restroom. I knew that was not an ideal place to hide because that's the first place they'd search when they suspect something and this is the only restaurant on this street and there's a fifty-fifty chance they had seen me.

Just as I entered the restroom another man was finishing drying his hands. He was tall, skinny and bald. He was wearing a back blazer over a 'forget me not' blue T-shirt that said 'I'm too sexy for my hair, that's why it isn't there'. I looked down at myself, I was wearing a grey jacket over a white dress shirt.

I fished my gun out again and pointed it at his bald head "Ok Sexy boy, exchange your blazer with my jacket and get he fuck out of this place if you love your sexy self even a little bit"

He shrugged out of his blazer and handed it to me with trembling hands. I shrugged into it, it was just about snug, but otherwise fitted me perfectly. I splashed my face with cold water and smoothed my hair and got out of the restroom, kicking myself mentally for walking inside this trap.

And not so much to my surprise, the cops were swarming the place already. I walked slowly, keeping a calm face. Almost every table was full except for one. Only a girl was sitting on that one with her back turned to me. It was weird because all the people in that place were either eyeing the cops or talking in raised voices. The NYPD had raised hell but that girl was sitting quietly, concentrating really heard on something. At first I thought she was deaf. But then I saw she was sitting glossy eyed, with a single black rose in front of her.

I was just about to ask her if I could sit down with her because the cops were checking each table when she turned around and noticed me. It felt like time started pass before I knew it and I was frozen. She was beautiful and her chocolate brown eyes sparkled when she saw me. And before I could say or do anything, she flung herself at me asking what I was doing there and I found myself embracing her back. She was wearing a coral blue dress and that color looked striking against her pale luminescent skin tone. Her dark brown hair smelled like strawberries. She inhaled my chest and tried to break free but I tightened my grip around her waist.

She managed to look up at me and I could see pure horror on her face as realization hit her. She tried to say something but the cops were too near to risk a drama right then so I tried to shut her up with a kiss…. That kiss…was like being born again, that kiss was like seeing the moon for the first time, that kiss was like kissing an angel, kissing her.

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**Leave me some love and comments and forgive for the typos.**

**lots of reviews so…….. I can write faster. **

**Sabrina (RobstenWish)**


	7. Chapter 6: Sky teal cofusion

**A/N : I do not own twilight. Yeah, like I need to say that again... Duh! All charecters belong to Stephenie meyer.**

**Hey all, how are you guys? Things are just crazy busy for me nowadays. But all the Cliffhanger comments made me realize that I was being unfair. So, this the 2nd cahpter in a week. I hope you like it. **

**And for all who hasn't yet heard the song "One last breath" performed by Creed. I recomend you listen to that song before reading this chapter coz it's just fucking awesome!!!!**

**Love you all,sempre.**

**Sabrina**

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**Bullets and Black Roses**

**Chapter 6: Sky Teal confusion **

**BPOV:**

"My name is Edward Cullen and you….?" He asked me under his breath as he smiled down at me angelic in every way, pretending to tuck a stray lock of hair behind my ears.

"Isabella" I muttered.

"Well Isabella, if you disobey a word I say tonight, you'll be dead before sunrise" He smiled again, just like a lover smiles at his soul mate.

"Did you understand what I'm trying to say?" He whispered softly in my ear and I felt something hard touching my ribcage. I peeked down and saw the muzzle of a gun pressed against me. I gulped and nodded.

"Good" he kissed my forehead lightly and tucked the gun back in his Blazer. I looked up at him and he stared back, I realized I still had my arms around his neck and one of his was still around my waist. I let go of him and turned, his hand glided from my waist to my stomach. He brushed my hair off my shoulders and planted another light kiss there from behind, whispering "Just sit down and act normal" My knees felt weak but not from fear. Whatever the fuck I was feeling right then was not terror. That much I was sure of.

I did as he told me. I was going to sit down on my previous seat but I heard Edward clearing his throat loudly

"Ahem"

I glanced back and he inclined his head to the seat facing mine. He wanted me to sit there. I nodded slightly and took that seat as Edward took mine. As soon as I sat down, I spotted at least a dozen cops swarming the whole place; they were checking all the tables. They kept sweeping their eyes at all the males like hawks searching the surface of the water for their pray, ready to strike.

How long has this been going on? Where the fuck was my head?

Obviously whoever they were looking for was sitting at my opposite at the moment. I returned my gaze back to him and saw he was looking at me too. But not at my face, his gaze was locked on my breasts. "Fucking criminal pervert!" I muttered for his sake.

His eyes snapped back at my face again and he smiled crookedly.

"I apologize, but I was wondering if you are wearing a bra…" he whispered, reaching across the table to put his hand over mine. My fingers curled into a fist. What the fuck is wrong with him? He was still staring at me with his bright green eyes. Is this some kind of a sick fucking joke?

"Why do you need to know?" I seethed through my teeth, irritation and hatred slowly poisoning the vessels of my heart.

"Ah ah! We don't want to raise our voice, do we?" he warned me politely but the hint was clear. "Look at me" he asked, again in a gracious voice. Is he for real? A hundred thoughts were going through my head at that moment but he was making it hard for me to separate them. "I said, look at me!" He whispered furiously this time, the foulest kind of venom draining all the courtesy from his voice as he tightened his fist around mine, His fingers almost crushing my bones there. I whimpered slightly in pain and he loosened his grip again.

"Look at me, please Isabella" his bloody politeness was back again. I looked up at him.

"Are you wearing a bra?" he asked, without darting his gaze.

"Yes" I answered bitterly.

"Oh it's just that you are wearing an off shoulders dress so I got confused" He smiled his angelic smile again "But you do look pretty in it" he added, staring at my breasts again.

Pretty?!? I was wearing one of Armani's finest spring-summer coral collections. Alice would have fainted if someone had called me anything less then 'stunning' in this dress in front of her. And this dress is worth more than what an average person would earn in a month. And speaking of Alice, where the fuck is she?

"The people who make the garter belts you see on the whores you usually fuck also make something called a 'strapless bra'" I said just as politely. Two can play at this game.

"Really now! I had no Idea!" He expressed in mock surprise. "Maybe that's because I usually like my whores without _any _article of clothing on them" He snickered.

"Good for them" I seethed back.

"Now, be a sweetheart and hide my gun in your bra, wont you?" He smiled again as he tried to pass me his gun under the table.

"Are you fucking out of your fucking mind?" I whispered back at him. Excuse me? Hide his fucking gun in my what? God, kill me fucking now! How can he even… how can I …ok Even if I tried I couldn't hide a gun of that size in my size 34 strapless bra. I mean, come on! what part of a skimpy strapless lingerie does he not understand?!? Fucking men!!!

"Why would you say that?" he asked courteously. This fucking politeness of his was irritating me to death.

"Because this thing won't fit in there" I tried to reason with him. He was still holding his gun under the table for me to receive.

"Just slip it right under the hooks against your back, it isn't that bulky. Come on do it now. We don't have much time" I took his gun and from his hand and did what he told me, quick and subtle. I was just hoping no one had noticed my awkward hand movements. And it worked too. His gun was now completely concealed inside the back of my dress. I just about died from shock. I leaned back into my chair a little. Just in case, some one spotted the outer line of a gun on my back.

"You feeling ok?" he asked as if he really didn't know the reason of my discomfort and was sincerely concerned about my well-being. Fucking bastard!

"Never been better" I replied sarcastically.

"Good for you" He smiled, squeezing my hand lightly still staring at my eyes.

"Bella Swan?" I heard a husky voice calling my name. I looked up from Edwards face and saw another cop, His NYPD badge gleaming in the dimming chandelier light. He was huge and taller than any man I've ever seen before. But his face was too familiar. I could recognize that smile anywhere.

"Jake!" I beamed. Jacob black used to be my best friend when we were at high school. He was my dad's best friend Billy's son. He's couple of years older than me. He has changed so much. Back then he used to be this lanky native kid with smooth russet skin and long black hair that he used to keep tied up with a lather cord. Now he's all big and muscular. And his hair is cropped brutally short. But his smile is still the same; this kid could light up the whole fucking world with it.

"Goodness fuck! I don't believe my own eyes!" I squealed. "Jake is that really you?"

"Aai Aai, 'Bella the sailor girl'" Jake beamed back. Back at school, people used to call me 'Bella the sailor girl' because I swore like one. My bad mood vanished, I always felt elated when Jake was around. He was like my own personal sun.

"What are you doing in New York? You are a cop now?"

"Duh" He pointed out his NYPD badge "Way to state the obvious, Bella" he rolled his eyes. I wanted to go and hug him.

"Oh Jake I'm just so happy to see y…." I couldn't finish as Edward fucking Cullen cleared his throat loudly with another "Ahem" I was so happy to see Jake again I almost forgot about my current state of affairs.

"Introductons…" Edward trailed off with another fake angelic smile of his. I looked at him and he seemed completely at ease, waiting for me to introduce him to Jacob. Arrrrgh! The nerve of this man! This gorgeous Greek god like man, looking at whom once made me forget all about Jacob.

"Since Bella is too overwhelmed to remember her manners… I'm Edward Cullen. Bella's boyfriend" he said politely, standing up and shaking hands with Jake.

"Officer Jacob Black. Bella's childhood friend" Jacob said as politely.

"It's funny. Bella has never mentioned you before" Edward said, looking straight at me. He fucking didn't ….!!!! Jacob looked a bit hurt by his comment. How dare he! Now Jake was looking at me too.

"I'm sorry. I…. It's been a while and I …" I was apologizing through my greeted teeth but Jake cut me off "its ok Bella. You are a celebrity now and it's natural for people like you to forget about unimportant friends from the past" He said looking down at his feet.

"Hey Black. Everything fine over there?" Another cop shouted across the room.

"Yeah. Just ran into an old frie… someone I once knew" Jake corrected himself.

"Jake, I'm sorry" I was genuinely feeling like shit right then but Jacob ignored me and turned to Edward "there's been a murder nearby and we are suspecting one of them is still in this restaurant, so we are checking the place"

"Didn't you see his face or what he was wearing?" Edward asked him, deeply concerned. This fucking man deserves an Oscar for his acting.

"No we couldn't see his face. His other companion kept us a little busy but we are pretty sure he was wearing something grey" Jacob explained as he eyed Edward's smooth black blazer and his crisp white dress shirt.

"Oh that's terrible! Is there anyway we can co-operate?" He asked gently.

"Yeah, we are searching every one. So…." Jake trailed off.

"Of course, anyway we can help" he stood up and another cop pulled out a metal detector. They searched Edward and the beeper went off once.

"Sir I'm gonna have to need you to empty all your pockets" he said. Edward shrugged out of his blazer and handed it to Jacob and the cop searched all the pants pockets and mouthed "clear"

Now Jacob searched the blazer and found a keychain and a small heart shaped box covered in sky teal velvet. He pressed the lead with his thumb and a ring with a visibly decent diamond sparkled in the lights.

I'm so fucked!

Jacob looked from me to Edward, who looked like he was in a dilemma. He was staring at the ring in Jake's hand. Jacob eyed Edward questioningly and he nodded in silent agreement with a meek smile.

"Man, I'm so sorry. I had no Idea" Jacob muttered as he handed the box back to Edward.

"Its ok, Officer Black" Edward found his politeness back again as he shrugged back into his blazer once more. I was sitting there like a statue, feeling so numb that the world didn't matter anymore.

"Bella, I'm sorry things turned out this way tonight but I was just waiting for the right moment and now that you already know…" Edward trailed off as he slipped onto one knee in front of me. Oh Fuck NO! Just when I thought this couldn't get any worse the clouds opened up and God said, 'I hate you, Bella'

"Isabella swan? It's true, we haven't known each other for very long nevertheless every time It feels like I'm seeing your beauty for the first time but I have seen your soul and I fall in love with it over and over again every time I see you and I need you to know that I _want_ to fall in love again everyday for the rest of my life. Will you give me that chance? Will you marry me, Isabella?"

Fuck you, Edward Cullen. How can you lie so convincingly? I was screaming in my mind. He wants me to marry him? I know this is all a pretence and Edward would happily like to murder me before tomorrow morning but this? This is ridiculous. Why am I feeling hurt that this is all a pretence? Why should my insides shatter because every word coming out Edwards's mouth were nothing but lies?

"Yes, I will" I said, angry tears stinging my eyes. Edward's gaze was locked with mine, and I could tell he was confused at my reaction as he took my left hand and slipped the ring on my third finger.

Both of us stood up and he kissed me full on my mouth again but I could feel his hands, busy on my back. He slyly fished his gun out my dress and slipped it back inside his blazer. I truly admired his nerves this time, how smoothly he took care of everything with two cops standing less then 6 feet away from us.

"You are so fucked" he whispered sadly for only me to hear as he kissed me softly once again.

He broke the kiss but his arms were still around me "Tell your friend that we need to get out of this place" he whispered in my ear, still embracing me.

"You are going to kill me anyway, aren't you?" I asked him quietly. It didn't matter anymore. I don't think I could even tell if a bullet pierced my body right now. I _wanted _him to kill me. Maybe six feet ain't so far down.

"Bella Please, tell him we need to go" he urged me again, letting go of me. My mouth felt so dry and my heart was crippled by unimaginable pain.

Jacob was searching another man from the table right to ours. I walked over to where he was standing "Jake, can I have a word?"

"Sure, Bells" he smiled forcefully "I'm so sorry that I blew the surprise for you" He apologized.

"It's ok. I'm sorry that I never told him about you. And it's not because I forgot, some people just don't understand… me, even I don't understand me" I uttered the first words that came to my mind.

"Then why are you marrying someone who doesn't understand you?" Jacob asked.

"Because I love him" I lied. I don't know why I was doing this. Why I was saving this… this… Murderer. I could just tell Jake the truth now and Edward will be arrested. All I have to do was tell him to check Edward's blazer again. All I had to do was to say the words. But why am I lying when I can save myself with the truth. Why the fuck am I trying to save Edward Cullen?

"He's a real lucky man. I'm truly happy for you" he hugged me.

"Yeah, I wish I could say the same" I muttered under my breath.

"What?"

"Nothing. Listen Jake, I don't want to stay here anymore. I want to celebrate this night with Edward, just him and me. Could you please excuse us? I mean. We had already been searched and all…so, could you ask them let us go?" I requested.

"Sure, sure. You two can leave now if you want to. I'll take care of it" Jake assured me.

"Thank you so much, Jacob" Edward's voice tuned in from behind me and I jumped.

"JesusFuckEdward! You scared the living fuck out of me" I glared at him but he ignored me and put his arm around my waist from behind and pecked me lightly on cheek.

"I'm sorry. I love you" He whispered in my ear loud for both Jake and I to hear clearly "I just can't believe you are mine now" he added.

I turned my head to look at his face; he was smiling looking at me like I've given him the greatest happiness in his life.

"But I always felt like I belonged with you" I muttered back. While I'm still playing and losing at the mortal combat, why not let him win the easy way? His arms stiffened around me at my words and I heard him sigh.

"Bye Jake" I went and hugged him for the last time.

"See you around, Bella" he smiled meekly "you too, man and congratulations to both of you" he looked at Edward.

"Thanks" Edward mouthed politely as he handed me my white trench coat. I shrugged into it and Edward led me out of the door, his hand resting on the small of my back. I was thinking about where and how I was getting killed tonight. I thought about Alice. Its ironic, the day I bought this dress I was wearing, she had said "Oh my god! Don't you just want to die in this dress! It's so beautiful!" I laughed.

"Do I get to hear the joke?" Edward was looking down at me.

"No" I smiled up at him.

"You are irrational and volatile. I don't get you" He said softly. I laughed again recalling my internet chats with Alice.

"What now?"

"Nothing"

"Where are we going?" He asked me.

"I thought it was upto you. Where do you want to kill me?" I asked him, still smiling.

"Where did you park your car?" he ignored my question again.

"We are standing in front it" I pointed out my Audi.

"Give me the keys" he demanded. I fished the Doughnut keychain out of my coat pocked and dropped it on his extended palm.

"Cops like me better?" he read it aloud.

"It's a gift and the conclusion of a long ass story" I answered simply.

"Get in. I'm driving" he held out the passenger door open for me. I got in.

"There's nothing I can do to save you. You know too much now" he finally let me know without an ounce of regret in his voice.

"Tell me something I don't already know about" I scoffed as I turned the radio on and they were playing Creed's 'One last breath'

_~` I cried out "Heaven save me"_

_But I'm down to last breath_

_And with it let me say, let me say…_

'_Hold me now; I'm six from the edge _

_And I'm thinking, maybe six feet _

_ain't so far down ~`_

I hummed along with the song. I knew all the words. This used to be one of my favorites.

_`~sad eyes follow me, but I still believe _

_There's something left for me_

_So, please come stay with me_

_Cause I still believe there's something left for _

_You and me _

_For you and me _

_For you…_" Edward turned the radio off.

"Hey, what's your problem? I was listening to that" I cried out.

"I don't like that song" he said harshly.

"OooOOooh! I'm so scared of you, Edward. I think I just pissed my panties" I trembled in mock terror, reaching for the stereo again but he caught my hand and closed his fingers around my wrist so tightly that it hurt.

"I said I didn't like that song" he scathed in a venomous voice, not taking his eyes off the road.

"I heard you the first time. Edward, you are hurting me" I tried to free myself from his vice grip but his fingers didn't budge.

"Good. I don't like to repeat myself" he let go off my wrist.

"You fucking bustard! This is my car! I can do whatever I want to" I yelled, rubbing my roughly bruised wrist.

"Don't test my patience, Isabella. I'm not very good at it" He seethed his through gritted teeth.

"Fuck you. You bloody murderer!" I screamed and he hit me with the back of his hand. My whole face felt hot and I could taste blood on my lips.

"You are a pathetic little coward" I spat at him, spraying his white dress shirt with blood and spit. He drifted left and pulled over into a dark alleyway. As soon as the engine stopped, he turned to face me. His bright green eyes almost black with rage and hatred.

"You know what? You are right. About me _and_ about that song." His fingers closed around my throat "I _am_ a bloody murderer and you _are _down to your one last breath"

I closed my eyes and said my goodbye to this world. Creed's 'one last breath' was still stuck in my head.

`~_please come now, I think I'm falling holding onto all I think is safe_~`

Edwards was going to throttle me to death. All ten of his fingers curled around my throat like a spider. I tried to shove him off with my left hand but it was unnecessary because he put no pressure on my throat. That's wired! I have never tried to suffocate anyone before but I knew you had to exercise brutal force in order to do so. But he wasn't doing anything; I could still inhale the cold Manhattan breeze and exhale just as easily.

I took in another deep breath and peeked through my lashes. Edward's fingers were still loosely curled around my neck but his head was bent lower, he was looking down at his own chest. My defensive left hand still fisted the fabric of his shirt there. At first I thought he just got distracted because I was ruining his shirt but then I realized he was staring at the diamond ring on my third finger. I loosened my grip but I left my hand there. I could feel a slight beating against my palm. I lowered my hand and positioned it exactly over his heart. I could feel his apparent heartbeats; it was pounding fast and hard against his chest. I pressed my palm persuasively against his gradually violent heart. He slowly released my throat and I found his right hand over my left one, his thumb lightly brushing the diamond he had given me earlier tonight.

He looked up at me and I stared back at him. His green eyes back to their natural brightness but there was something else in his eyes. Confusion, curiosity, exploration and if I hadn't known who he was I would have guessed, Pain. An unfathomable scar that was beyond and above the kind of abrasion that repairs with time.

"Bella?" he whispered my name in a smooth velvety voice.

"Yes?"

"You don't feel anything when you look into my eyes?" he asked softly, without taking his eyes off mine.

"Feel something, as in?" I couldn't obtain what he was trying to ask me. I was too taken back by his bizarre mood swings.

"Uncomfortable or edgy? Like I'm reading your mind or seeing right into your soul?"

"No. Why the fuck would I feel 'uncomfortable' looking into the eyes of an assassin?" I said flatly. Read my mind? As if! No one's that good. But eyes his were compelling in a sense.

"But there's something about your eyes. They are mesmerizing in an inimitable way. They reflect what's on the inside" I blurted out the truth.

"They reflect?" he laughed, "Reflect what? Cruelty?" he shook his head in bitter amusement.

"They reflect the wounds that run too deep to heal within yourself. And _that_, too" I referred to his vindictiveness.

Edward's crooked smile vanished from his face as he processed my words. He fingers clasped around mine firmly but not painfully. He glided our entwined hands down his abdomen and let them rest on his lap.

"You know nothing about me" he stated, looking down at our hands.

"Like I give a damn! You don't know fuck about me either" Now it was my turn to laugh bitterly at his words "But at the end of the day, I'm the one who's wearing this fucking ring on my finger. Why am I your fucking fiancée, Edward?" I asked him, my anger raising its ugly head slowly on the surface again.

"Its funny you should ask that… but I have a question I need to ask you before I answer mine" he said softly.

"What-the fuck-ever" I tried to look and sound uninterested. Edward said nothing but his fingers trembled slightly in anger "What? Are you waiting to hit me a few more times again before you ask your damn question?" I snapped.

"I'm sorry I hurt you. You didn't deserve that …. I couldn't give you what you deserved and what you deserved was bullet in your thick skull. I would have shot your ass point blank long ago if you were someone else but I still apologize for hitting you regardless" he admitted and his bloody politeness was back again.

"Seriously Edward?" I almost lost my ability to speak from astonishment "Your fucking "Sorry" has changed everything. I'm so touched by your apology; I think I just might shed a few tears now if you don't mind"

"I think you're going a bit overboard with the sarcasm thing" he smiled his crooked smile again which just set my already kerosene filled vessels on fire.

"Oh really! Now I'm sarcastic when every fucking work coming out of your worthless mouth is dripping with absolute disdain?" I threw back at him.

"Which brings us back to my question…" he trailed off and took my left hand in his again "Why did you say 'yes' to a murderer when he asked you to marry him, hmm?"

"Because he's a fucking murderer, isn't he? He'd fucking murder you if you'd said 'No' to his face" I spat back at him.

"Silly, Bella. Your friend slash admirer slash policeman was standing two feet away from you. Why didn't you tell him the truth there and then? I was on my knees and you had my gun. I was unarmed and vulnerable. Why didn't you hand me over then, Bella?" he was looking straight into my eyes and I got it then what he had meant by 'Uncomfortable'.

"Moreover, why didn't you tell him everything when you were talking to him alone? I wasn't there to stop you. I couldn't have stopped you even if I had tried to. You could have gotten me arrested then. I was so sure of what was coming but you staggered me when you lied to your friend for a man who is an assassin, a man whom you were counting on to take your life away from you"

"Why did you _save_ me when you it knew so well that my _life_ equals to your _death_?" he asked again. "Why do you want to die so badly, Bella?"

"I thought you only needed me to answer the _first_ question for you to answer mine?" I asked through gritted teeth.

"Oh yes, Why _you _are my fucking fiancée?" he smiled his crooked smile again.

"_This_ blazer is not mine. I forced some bald guy to exchange jackets with me at gunpoint. And _this _ring was supposed to be in his pocket for someone he was going to propose. Not _me_ but when your cop friend fished that box out I was pretty perplexed myself and I did the first thing that came to my mind in order to tackle the situation smoothly without raising suspicions" He recalled the incident from his point of view "But I never imagined that _you'd _say 'Yes' I just about died from shock when you did"

"You mean to say that you proposed me marriage with a hijacked ring?" I was so appalled; I couldn't find words to describe my apparent feelings.

"Yes" he closed his eyes "But you don't need to worry about _that_ cause it wasn't a real proposal and I am _already_ engaged till death" He flipped his middle finger on my face and I saw a 'XI' tattooed around his finger in bold black ink.

"Eleven? What does that marking mean?" I was confused beyond words.

"It means that, I'm the one startling sign that indicates fate has finally decided to fuck you"

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**Leave me love and reviews. They help me a lot when I'm living the fucked up life that I am**.


	8. Chapter 7: Coffee black and Egg white

H**ey guys thanks so much for waiting! As you might not know I'm attending my semester finals at college that's soaking up all my time. Yeah, that's what happens when you don't study on time and leave todays work for tomorrow or rather the nights before the actual tests. So this is the 7th chapter. I had already wrote the whole chapter once before from EPOV but my hard disk crashed L then I started again but couldn't continue writing so I figured this chapter from EPOV was jinxed or something so I'm giving you both BPOV and EPOV in one. Enjoy reading!**

**P.S: Thanks to KJate95 for her ideas. Love you girly! and MoonXAngel for her love for B&BR. I guess,You don't havr B&BR. You dont y and MoonXaas. Love you girly and MoonXangel e to go for your seventeenth time without a new chapter. And special thanks to all the ladies for , Twitter and . Sabrina loves you all so much she feels like a slut LOL.**

**P.P.S: Thanks for understanding and sticking with me all this way and putting up with my cliff-hangers. I'm seriously considering changing my Penname to "Her Evil cliffyness" or something like that.**

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**Bullets and Black Roses:**

**Chapter 7: Coffee black and Egg white**

**BPOV:**

"You're the displeasing sign that fate had finally fucked me?" I snorted with quiet laughter "How I wish that was true, Edward. Fate had fucked me ages ago you are just another one of fate's fucking games" I stared out the window, into the tempting emptiness of the dark outside. This man knew nothing about me. Nothing at all. No one knows the truth about me. They don't know my secrets, my regrets or my indignities. They just believe what they see and what they see is what I reveal. What I want them to see, what I let them see.

"And how is that?" Edward asked, deeply intrigued. I didn't even bother to look at him, like I needed to discuss my past with a murderer. My To-be Murderer. My past is part of me that will live and die deep within me and decay with my mortal body. And a murderer like Edward Cullen is the last person I'd want to share this part of me with.

"That's personal" I voiced coldly.

"I see" He once again had this 'I agree with everything you've just said and I hope you will grant them as my own feelings' tone. I wish I could tell him how this 'courteous and considerate' façade of his irritated me to no bounds. By keeping this fucking refined behavior on display he was making it really hard for me to grasp the depth of this great 'Fucked up on another whole level' situation I was currently in. I wanted to yell "You are a bloody murderer so just act like _one,_ why don't you?!?" but I calmed myself, thinking of what he had stored for me ahead.

"You see nothing. You are blinded by your own …" I wanted to say he was too short-sighted because of his need to please himself but I decided against it. It wasn't worth it to get slapped by him or something again. "Never mind" I muttered darkly.

"No, go on please. Tell me…My own what?" His green eyes bored into mine again and I darted my gaze away swiftly, under the pretense of brushing a loose strand of hair off my face. God! Is he for real! Why my stupid heart does a vehement summersault every time he looks down at me like that was so above and beyond me at the moment. It just didn't make any sense! Did I _like_ him looking at me like that… this was getting absurd past words "Nothing. I said 'Never mind', didn't I?" I turned my head and kept looking out the window; something told me having him dissect me visually wasn't going to help my case much. I really wanted get this whole thing over with as soon as possible. Just another few hours, or another few minutes if I get lucky.

Every time I think about that night makes me feel like chilled water is rising in my chest, cutting my insides. Every time I hear a woman scream… I find myself back in that room again.

And then the scene changed abruptly and I was standing in the corridor of forks hospital. A doctor came out taking his gloves off; putting on his sad, sympathetic face that he reserved for his patient's family or loved there's a bad news. Yeah right like it actually mattered to them who lived or died as long as they get to go home at nights and come back to find a piping hot cup of fresh coffee at work next morning.

"We are sorry Mr. Swan. We tried our best but it was too late. She is with us no more" I had to grip the doorframe to keep myself from falling and Charlie… well Charlie went immobile as a stone sculpture.

And then another change of scene and I was standing back inside our house facing a Charlie who was maddened with grief…

"What did you do to her! You killed her…

You killed her…

It's entirely your fault! She died because of you! You killed her!"

"Dad I'm sorry. I couldn't do anything to help her. I wish I were dead"

"Me too" Charlie had said in a hollow and dead sort of voice. His emotionless statement sounded so much worse than a heated fight. And since that day, I didn't really want to live anymore. It didn't really matter if I had lived or died. It didn't. So now, Edward Cullen can make it happen. Fate had sent him to me so that I can ditch the mundane independence that life offers us and finally embrace the true freedom that only god can provide.

And now I can't believe this is actually happening to me. I am going to cross over to the other side-the better side- tonight. All these years I wanted to finish myself off but I just wasn't brave enough to try and commit suicide. But I have thought about it many times, Hell! I still think about it everyday, everynight. I think about why it hadn't been me instead of my mother. Now I can finally see her again soon. Too soon maybe. I'm sure she would have wanted me to live and cherish life for a bit longer than just nineteen insufferable years but that's the beauty of this whole 'fuck up' and because this _is _a 'Fuck up', I didn't have to plan it. Fate had prearranged this for me.

Edward kept driving silently. I looked up at him and he opened his mouth to say something but snapped it shut, darting his eyes back to the road again. Grrr! I hate him!

"What?" I snapped.

"Nothing" said Edward. He tried to concentrate on driving again but I could tell he was tense. He was gripping the steering wheel so firmly, his knuckles were turning white.

"Do you want to say something, Cullen?"

"No, I figured I wanted to but I just realized that would be too personal" He said thoughtfully and turned his head to smile crookedly. Oh so this is how he's going to play? Pulling on the "Personal" string, get something fucking original!

"Being scratched by my own cat, Am I? Fucking funny" I scathed back.

"Am I supposed to be the 'Cat' in this scenario?" Edward laughed despite himself.

"Not if you don't want to be. You can be my 'Bitch', bitch" I guess, I'd like that. Making a devastatingly handsome man like him my Bitch. But judging by the sudden feral look on his face, Edward didn't like that concept very much. He looked ready to strangle me again.

"Just shut up Bella, just… please" he half warned-half pleaded, critically exasperated. "I would have liked you so much better if you were born mute" he pursed his lips.

"Like me _better_? So, how much _do _you like me now, exactly?" I tried to sound deeply annoyed and mocking but the slight hint of anticipation in my voice almost gave me away. And I had a mad urge to hear him admit that he did actually like me to some extent, no matter how small.

"I told you before not to test my patience Isabella, I'm not good at being tolerant. So please for the love of god! Would you just shut the fuck up?"

"I shall not!" I screamed. "Let me…." I was interrupted by a cellphone that started to buzz fiercely in the glove compartment. I quickly pulled it open and took my slim scarlet cellphone out and saw Alice's name flashing on the screen. Of course, it is Alice. The fact that she didn't manage to hunt me down by now was an unbelievable miracle by itself. I was contemplating either or not to answer but Edwards's hands were faster than my mind. He snatched the cell away from my hand.

"You are not answering anybody's call tonight. Sorry Bella" my phone still kept buzzing.

"But, it's my friend Alice. I was supposed to meet her tonight. She never showed up. I need to talk to her. You know, to check if she is all right" I made up my mind. I would talk to her, If I don't get to say a proper goodbye than the least I can do for her is to comfort her for the last time in my life. Her life could have been so much easier and she would have been so less anxious all this time if I wasn't in it. Seriously, when I think about it, I never had been more than just a troublemaker, just a fucking pain in the ass.

"Yeah, like I'm buying that bullshit. I let you answer it and you tell her to call 911! Am I supposed to believe that you are concerned about your friend but not your own death?" He smiled grimly.

"Just give me the fucking phone, Edward!" I aimed for it but he pressed the reject button and I missed his hand.

"NO" his tone was firm and cold.

"You asshole! What do you want from me? I'm already letting you take me, aren't I? What more do you want?" no sooner had I finished my sentence my cell started to vibrate in his hand again.

"Give it to me!" I tried to take it from him but he shifted it to his other hand-"NO!" - Edward stuck my phone out of the window- "Sorry Bella. I can't let you. I'm going to have to dispose it now"

"NOO! Just let me talk to Alice first. I swear, I won't tell her anything about you… or where I am …Just let me talk to her for the last time, Edward. She is the only one I have and I don't want to die without saying goodbye to her but as I can't do that, at least let me hear her voice for the last time. Please, Edward" I begged.

"No" he repeated again and moved to let go of my cell. Any second it will smash into a few scarlet pieces of wasted metal. I had to talk to her. I just had to. So as a desperate move to prevent him from destroying it, I unfastened my seat-belt in a flash and turned around in my seat.

"Please..?" I made him face me and put my hand over his heart again. I could feel its gradual thumping against my palm. He looked down at his chest and then at me. I leaned in closer- as close I could get without leaving my seat- without breaking eye contact "Aren't you even going to grant me my last wish?" I whispered, with his face inches from mine, his green eyes went wild with thoughts that occurred with our unexpected intimacy. I was sure a thousand things were badgering him at my sudden stunt – I slowly ran my fingers through his tousled auburn hair and let my thumb rest on his cheek "Please Edward?" his lips were so close to my own that they slightly brushed his when they moved along with my words. His body temperature went up a couple degrees and I could feel his heart, literally slamming against his ribcage viciously under my touch -He gasped, shocked as hell and handed me the cell quietly- In some ways men are so weak in front of a woman, it's quite pathetic. But I was happy that he fell for it, regardless. "Thank you" I finally pressed my lips softly against his once and pulled away immediately. He recoiled from my interaction and slowly pushed me back to my seat with one hand while muttering something that sounded like "You are lucky that I'm a very good driver"

I decided to get on with it before the charm breaks Edward changes his mind. I hit the speed dial quickly and Alice picked up after the first ring.

"Hello Alice…"

"Bella!"

"Are you ok? What happened, why didn't you show up?"

"I'm fine Bella. I have been calling you since eleven thirty. Why weren't you answering?" Alice sounded pissed. Good. Pissy is good now.

"I forgot my cell in my car"

"Oh. I thought you went back so I called you at home but the answering machine was picking up"

"Oh yeah. Umm.. I was busy"

"Doing what?"

"Why do you need to know? I thought you were the one who needed to do all the explaining. What happened to _you _tonight?"

"Oh Bella. There was an accident. You know a guy had been murdered earlier tonight and the police were chasing the people who did it and I parked my car farther from the restaurant because they were not letting anybody through there so I thought I'd just take the alley and come around the back. So I was walking and _he_ came running with a gun the size of my legs and knocked me down. Can you believe it? My stilettos snapped -That fool ruined my brand new Jimmy chooes- _And_ I sprained my left ankle" Alice explained in a rush.

"Who is this "_He_"?" I asked confused, I thought Edward was the murderer. But Alice said there were more of them.

"I don't know" Alice said in a strange voice. So was it Edward who knocked her down or someone else?

"Oh that's terrible Alice. I'm glad you're not hurt" - then I remembered her ankle- "or hurt worse, I mean. You are lucky he hadn't shot at you" I said and Edward's head snapped up to my direction. So it _was_ Edward.

"I know, at first I thought he was going to. But when I fell down, he tried to help me onto my feet just like a gentleman. I nearly died from shock" Alice whispered slowly as she was confessing to some horrible sin.

"What has gotten into you Alice? Seems like you are _still in _shock"

"Yes, maybe. Umm.. No…well, it is just that he didn't look like a bad guy. If you just would have seen his eyes Bella…they were just so intense, I have never seen gold so pure and he… umm… seemed seriously concerned that he had hurt me. One minute he was kneeling down beside me -his guns laid forgotten on both sides of us- and the next minute he was gone"

"Golden eyes, huh?" so that wasn't Edward after all "I don't know what he was thinking and I don't even _want_ to. I'm just glad that you are alive"

"Yeah. Well let's just drop it. So how long did you wait for me? Did you manage to get out of there in time because I heard the police had blocked the whole street?

"Well, I met an old friend from La push. He was with the Cops so they let me go"

"Ok. That's good. Where are you now anyway? Is it the Audi's engine I hear? Bella?

"Yes?"

"Can I have the divine liberty to ask where the hell you are driving off to at…at …–wait, what time is it?- yes, at one o' clock in the morning?"

"I told you I'm busy Alice. I need to be somewhere in exactly half an hour"

"And where would that be?"

"It is personal" I bit my tongue as soon as I said that "but I promise to explain things later…if.. I mean, when I see you again"

"OK" she seemed hurt. It's miraculous how I'm still somehow managing to cause her pain even now "You sure you are okay Bella?" She asked in a worried but skeptical voice.

"Yes, I'm fine Alice don't worry"

"If you say so. See you on Monday then"

"I love you, Alice"

"I love you too, Bella. Take care of yourself please"

"I'll try" I promised with a meek smile.

"Bye Bella"

I disconnected the line.

"Goodbye Alice" I muttered under my breath, my eyes locked on the windshield. A Single drop of tear escaped from the corner of my eye. I let it run down my cheek. One teardrop, so I'd better make it a good one. And if Alice wasn't worthy of that I don't know what was.

"Good friend?" Edward asked, hesitating a little. I don't know what startled him the most the fact that I'd just let my last chance at life slip so easily from my fingers or that I kept my word to him.

"Best friend" I corrected him "and the best sister" It was true. Although Alice was never a part of my family I was always a part of hers.

"I'm sorry"

"I bet you are" I wanted to laugh at his fake thoughtfulness this time. What would a murderer know about how it feels to lose someone when all his life he just snatched them away from others? I bet _he_ never had to stand on the other side of the river himself.

"I'm not a monster Bella. I know how it feels. I had to leave my sister too"

"That's so sad" I said in a hollow, exceptionally lifeless voice.

"I know" he sounded strangely empty too. I looked down at my lap and I felt another fat teardrop cascading down the length of my face. It landed directly on the ring and gave the huge diamond a clear salty bath. _My_ engagement ring. The biggest joke of my life.

"Whoa. I forgot to tell Alice I got engaged" I laughed bitterly through my tears. Edward didn't make a comment but I saw his hand leave the steering wheel, reaching slowly for my face. He lightly brushed my tears away with the back of his fingers but I recoiled instinctively. I thought he was going to hit me again.

"Sorry" his fingers curled into a tight fist again and he pulled his hand away and a strange silence hovered in the cold night. I didn't understand him. At all. Why does it feel like he is something more than he shows? Just like me.

And I couldn't help myself from wondering why a man who'd make Michael Angelo's "David" look like an ogre next to him chose to be what he was. I wanted to know him better. I wanted some answers but I don't think I have enough time left on my hands to play "Twenty-Questions" with him. I don't exactly know how many seconds will come to pass before I die. I checked the time on my phone screen. O1:05 A.M. it had been almost 45 minutes since we left the restaurant. It seemed as though everything raced ahead like a blur, I could hardly remember my life before tonight. And where the hell _was_ he taking me exactly? I was tired of waiting it to end already. I wanted it to happen fast so that I could be gone before I start to regain some of my incentive behind life in this world.

"Where are we going?" I finally broke the silence.

"Home" Home? He has a home?

"Why don't you just shoot me right now and leave my body in this car? That would save both of us a lot of trouble. The police would think I'd committed suicide or something… Or even better. Torch the car after you're done with me. Finish off all the evidence you know" I suggested awkwardly and he made a face that reminded me of a kid biting into an extremely sour plum _with_ a worm in it.

"Huh! You really have got to stop watching bad action movies. First of all, this is New York, Not Mojave desert. People will notice if I torched a car in the middle of the street and I will get busted within five minutes. And secondly, NYPD aren't as stupid as they make them look on TV. They can tell the difference between a suicide and a homicide in a heartbeat"

"Well, will it really matter to me once I'm dead? You lot can fuck each other up and die for all I care" I complained bitterly and Edward smiled "Oh and by the way, who was your golden eyed friend? I think Alice fell in love with him or something"

"At first sight?" Edward asked.

"I can't be sure. But she was acting weird. Weird for Alice" I thought about how ironic this whole deal was.

"You and your friend are both brainless idiots. Wanting the dangerous things for all the wrong reasons. And, FYI Jasper Cullen is not my friend"

"Another Cullen? your brother?" I asked, seriously dumbfounded "What is this, a family pastime? -Oh come on Jasper, I'm bored. Let's go out and shoot some people dead tonight. It will be all in good fun!- Drinks on me if you can get the bullet through his head!" I scorned despite feeling rather horrible at this point.

"Funny. No, he is not my brother either but you're right this is kinda like a _family thing_" he nodded his head, smiling darkly while recalling some private joke I didn't get.

"Well, your '_Family_' injured my bestfriend tonight"

"I know. Small world, right? I was there. Her heels snapped. She is lucky he didn't kill her" he seemed lost in another train of thought again.

"She was, wasn't she? Looks like _only_ I got the worse end of the deal tonight"

"Not likely Isabella. If Jasper fucking Cullen had anything to do with what I think he had then you just might not die alone tonight" his voice got his vindictive tint back and I slightly shuddered seeing his face. He didn't miss it but decided to ignore me.

"What do you mean?" What the fuck was he going on about? I thought he said they were family…

"It's complicated and…" he smiled meekly "also a secret"

"Really? Do you really think telling some dying woman a stupid secret is gonna change anything?"

"You are not dead yet"

"I thought that was only a matter of time now"

"It is. Tell you what, I'll tell the secret once you are dead"

"HaHa. Fucking hilarious" I said, acerbically "why can't you tell me now?"

"Because If I do, they'll have to kill me too" this is getting crazier by the seconds. Now who the fuck were "They"? And why would they kill Edward if he told me about what Jasper had done.

"Oh please, spare me the crap for just this once"

"You know too much already Bella. You know that the murder that was committed tonight was by us. You saw my face and your friend saw Jasper's. You know our names. My fingerprints are all over your car and yourself" he eyed my body in a way that made me feel naked "So basically, if you live then I die. And that's what I'm trying to do here, preserve myself. Above all, Survival is the most basic instinct, you know"

"More like animal instincts" I scoffed.

"That's silly Isabella. Animals don't kill each-other unless they absolutely have to. But we don't prey on human flesh so why do we slay? We kill men because it's how we chose to live; we kill because we want to, not because we need to"

"But you don't seem any less dangerous than a predator yourself" I looked right into his eyes, trying to understand this matchless creature of god sitting beside me. He seemed kind of smug that I finally admitted that he was frightening in a way. He smiled crookedly again and I felt my heartbeats pace up with a start "Thank you Isabella. You are too kind" he snorted with laughter.

"Oh shut up" I said, annoyed. But I couldn't help but smile myself. How easy it was to be with him…"So can I ask you something now? "asked Edward. OK, looks like I spoke too soon. It wasn't _that_ easy.

"I don't see why you can't"

"Why do you want to die so bad?" he had asked this question before and I don't think he'd let it go until I've answered it.

"I don't see why I have to answer that"

"Why?" He repeated again in a tone so cold it sent chills down my spine.

"My life doesn't matter to me as much. I guess you can say, survival is not my most important instinct. And when you live a life like me you can't help but hope you'd just die in your sleep someday and…" but he cut me off "Wait, what?!? So you mean to say _that_'_s_ why you are coming along so willingly?"

"Why not? I need a hit and you can give it to me" I said softly. Edward can free me in the truest sense and that's what I want.

Edward hands trembled slightly "I don't believe you. You are a liar. Nobody wants to die… you are just saying this cause you know you've lost" his voice shook with anger. This is the thing that irritated and amazed me at the same time with Edward, his bizarre mood swings. One second he is laughing his fucking ass off and the next, he is ready to skin someone alive. I wonder if he has multiple-personality disorder.

"I thought you had to at least try and fight before you could anticipate a win. I never fought"

"You are lying to me" he scathed at me. I don't get it why people would easily gulp down lies but choke on the simplest of truths. Lately this world has become an unheeded garden, where the wholesome flowers shriveled up and only the weeds succeed to thrive.

"You know what your biggest mistake is Cullen?" I didn't know why he was so confident that I was lying. But it didn't matter to me what he thought as long as I'm getting what I want.

"What?"

"It's a secret" I swung his own line back at him. Yeah, take that Cullen! Now how do you feel, getting scratched by own cat? "But I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours first" my lips twisted into a smile.

"Go to hell!" He flipped me off and I caught a glimpse of the "XI" stamp around his middle finger again.

"Oh I'd love to. But you and your criminal family already lives there and I don't want to have to see your faces everyday"

"SHUT UP!"

"Don't you dare shout at me! You asked me a fucking question and I just gave you my answer. Why ask when you don't want to be told? I'm going with you because I chose to. Not because you made me. Nobody can make me do something I don't want to and it's the truth no matter how much you hate it"

"Oh really Bella? You see this…" he took his gun out again "this can make nun pole dance in a strip club and a monkey stick its pinky up while drinking tea" he sneered and his eyes went wild with madness "So tell me what shall I make _you _do?"

EPOV:

I r was getting really hard for me to concentrate on the road when Isabella was sitting so close to me at touching distance. And the fact that she wasn't effected by me the way others were was no matter for celebration for me either when already a thousand things were going through my mind already. It's like every train of thought started with an unalike string, differing from strength to color but all of them just forgot their differences on half way and transformed into one great sophisticated cord of nature and brought my mind back to the one person I was trying my best to not think about. And she was Isabella.

No one can deny the fact that she was exceptionally beautiful, she was crafted so perfectly and her essence was so pleasing that it was enough to drive the angels of heaven mad with the gravitational need to be near her. Her splendor was something you can't forget once you've laid your eyes on her. But it was just her magnificence that moved me, it was her persona. It was her unpredictability, her wildness that was making me want to know about her more.

"_Yet eyes this cunning want to grace their art,_

_They draw but what they see, know not the heart" _

I was quoting Shakespeare in my head. Truly I didn't know anything about her. I just saw what she showed me and nothing more. But I did believe there was so much more to Isabella swan than what she was letting on. And the information she has confirmed, that she wanted death just made it that much certain. This flawless Barbie on the outside was damaged beyond repair on the inside. And I loved that, I loved it that she was damaged. Lately I have become this bloodsucker that feeds on other people's misery. It made me feel good to be aware of the fact that I'm not the only one who had been fucked up royally by fate.

But I couldn't help myself from wondering what made Isabella so ready, so prepared for death. Whatever it was must have been dark. Could the reason of her desperation be the same as other forty women we see on the streets? No, didn't think that was it. She was smart, beautiful and judging by her clothes and this car she was fucking rich as sin too, then what could have wounded her like that ... Maybe a bad break-up or could it be a bad divorce… I mean she didn't look that old but then again, I didn't know shit about her.

"Umm, not that you have to answer if you don't want to but I'm just curious… How old are you?" I asked, without looking at her.

"Not that it's any of your fucking business, but I'm going to turn 20 in September" said Bella. Ok, she was very young.

"Ever been married or engaged?"

"Nope, not till now" She looked down at her ring. Shit! I had almost forgotten about earlier tonight. The stunts I've pulled to save my ass tonight were playing themselves in fast-forward in my mind as I drove without another word. Running inside that wretched place, seeing Bella for the first time and kissing her. The first time we kissed as two strangers who have never laid their eyes on each other, and the last time it was a kiss between a man and his wife to be. His fiancée. _My_ fiancée.

No matter how you put it, I proposed her marriage and she had accepted me. Regardless of whatever circumstances we were in at that time, that was the rule of engagement among all the cast and creed of all the religions in the world. So to say, she _was_ now my fiancée and _I_, her to be husband until one of us breaks this engagement willingly.

I guess that won't matter. I'm going to have to kill her soon anyway and what better way to say "I'm breaking up with you" than to discharge a bullet right in her heart.

But was quite disturbing to think that I'd never get a chance to see her blush again, too see the dainty little crease on her forehead when she got mad or the way she bites down on her bottom lips when she thought about something silently without voicing it. But everything was irrelevant. Her death scene is coming ashore any moment.

She was listening to music with her eyes closed. After the stereo drama she didn't dare to touch it again, instead she took an iPod out of the glove compartment and has been listening to music quietly for the last 20 minutes. And though I told her that I liked it better when she kept her mouth shut her silence seemed ominous to me somehow. Maybe I shouldn't have silenced her at gun point like that.

I wanted to hear her voice more but I didn't know what to say to her. I looked at her found her humming along with the music so quietly that I couldn't make out her words. But it didn't matter. All my senses just dimmed themselves at the moment to give my vision a resilient reign to admire her features thoroughly. Her dark brown hair cascading down her back like a soft, silky waterfall that instantly had me wishing to burry my face in her hair. When she silently mouthed the lyrics to the song couldn't hear, her soft pink lips were parting themselves ever so slightly. I wanted to kiss her again; I wanted to know how they would feel when moving against mine like that. Then she swayed her head with the rhythm slowly and a strand of dark brown escaped from behind her ear and I had a violent struggle against myself to prevent my hand from touching her. All I wanted to do was to brush that stand lightly off her face and take as much time as wanted to careless her creamy pale, radiant skin under that little pretense.

I had a mad urge to bank my head on the steering wheel. Wait is this fucking thing bedazzled? It is. I slowly took in the Audi's extremely feminine interior as I brushed me finger across the Cristal studded horn. I never really got women's need to accessorize everything they touched. It's like some kind of disease.

"Edward?" Bella's voice tuned in from what it seemed like miles away.

"Huh?"

"There has to be another way. I don't want to…. You just can't….I'm your fiancée!" she blurted out incoherently, she sounded anxious.

"What the hell are you going on about?" I asked, confused as fuck. And before I could say or do anything else she started her kicking her silver shoes off and before I could even make sense of what was happening I found her perched on top of me while I was still driving! I hit the brakes hard with a start and the Audi's tires made a horrible screech in protest. Luckily we were off the highway and near the Cullen mansion or there would have been hell to pay. And still to my dismay another car passed us –the driver yelled angrily, shaking his fist at our direction "ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND?"

"_ARE_ you?" I asked Bella, cocking an eyebrow.

"Yes" she whispered as she settled herself on me, her legs opening up to grip my waist. I looked down and saw the skirt of her coral blue dress riding up her thighs as she inched closer and closer.

"Yes, I am" she threw herself into my arms, her slender weight crashing into my chest. And strangely enough I found myself comforting her back with a not so gentle embrace. Her hair smelled like strawberries and her smooth skin felt like silk under my fingers. Then suddenly I felt her lips on my throat, she planted one swift tender but deep kiss there and looked at me through her lashes. Fuck! I'm so fucked!

"Bella…don't" tried to refrain myself but she didn't let me finish "Shhh… you don't" she whispered and her lips brushed against mine. All my nerves were on fire and felt my temperature rise, blood rushed to my groin and I and my eyes snapped open. I sat still as she slowly took my bottom lip between her luscious ones and tugged lightly just once and pulled away, she was looking at me through hooded eyes and my heart hammered viciously. She lowered her beautiful chin and angled her head to kiss me again, another soft, wet one. Her hands were locked around me elegantly.

Slid one of her hands back to my chest again and pressed her palm against my heart.

"I can feel you" she whispered in a voice that tugged at my soul and something happened to me. I tightened my hold around her waist and groaned. Her nails clawed my shoulders, causing me to howl her closer to my hardening frame. Letting her feel my own burgeoning desire and it seemed as though my physical response only managed to encourage her more as she firmly pressed herself against me, inflaming me even further.

She kissed me again and her lips parted this time, I wasted no time to plunge my tongue inside her mouth. And we kissed ravenously, straining to consume each other's lips and our tongues glided against each other's. Our life forces thrashing through our blood vessels as I inhaled her mouth-watering scent that overwhelmed my senses.

I was with in the closest heaven I will ever be but suddenly her arms stiffened and she pulled away, gasping for air and as soon as I let her go she opened the car door and slipped off my lap.

"Now I'm going to let you know what your biggest mistake was….You underestimated _me!_" she smiled and kissed my lips swiftly for one last time and vanished into the dark of night.

* * *

**Do leave some love and reviews for me to get through this crappy as fuck time period. And comments, notes,ideas and takes on the storyline are always appreciated. So, knock yourselves out J**

**Take care till I catch up with you guys again. Love ya.**

**Sabrina (RobstenWish)**


	9. Chapter 8: Ashes

**A/N: I do not own Twilight. All the characters belongs to beautiful and talented Stephanie Meyer, who I blame for my twilight insanity.**

**Now everything I want from life are either illegal, impossible, or in love with Kristen Stewert :( **

** Anyway, have a nice week everybody!**

**Thanks to reader Granger25 for her support and keeping my nose on the grindstone, girl I hate you for that but love you for bringing out the best in my worst.**

**And thanks to all the ladies from , Twitter and Robsten . I still love you all like a crack whore with the dignity.**

**But as I have my 'International Insurances'Exam tomorrow, I gotta run to study.**

**Bullets and Black Roses:**

**Chapter 8: Ashes**

**EPOV:**

"_No longer mourn for me when I'm dead_

_Then you shall hear the surly sullen bell_

_Give warning to the word that I'm fled_

_From this vile world to the vilest worms to dwell;"_

I sat there in Isabella's car stutter-shook and bad-tempered. How I let this happen, how she got away seemed like a wild dream perceived in an unbearable cessation to me. I don't know what happened to me. Why I acted like that, why I acted like such a weakling. Why I caved into my desire to experience something that I knew wasn't existent. Well not for me anyway. I still couldn't make myself believe that she had fled, I just couldn't. Not even when I saw her beautiful face smiling and mocking me, warning me of her flight.

I still couldn't make myself believe the soft thuds of her footsteps, running across the street barefooted as she almost threw herself in front a speeding Taxi and just jumped in. I caught a glimpse of her chocolate brown eyes as another car overtook her Cab and its headlights flooded her face with silver light. She was still looking at me, with a glaze of undeniable triumph in her eyes.

Both of my hands curled into fists and my head seemed to finally recover from the initial shock that almost had me cerebrally handicapped. Isabella Swan had fled. That stupid girl, did she think I won't be able to find her? I took in a deep breath, her Audi's engine was still purring silently. My eyes kept darting over to the passenger seat subconsciously as if they were still hoping to see her sitting there. But there's nothing here but her metallic silver shoes pumps and her iPod. I felt like the sole reason of their presence in this car was to mock me, silently screaming "You've underestimated me!" I had half an urge to just chuck them out of the window, leave the car here and just walk home. Cullen mansion was not very far anyway. Or maybe I should just torch it like Isabella had suggested. Leave no evidence. Not of a murder but the evidence of my weakness, prove of how pathetic it was for me to fall for her trick. And what did I fall into exactly? "What _were _you thinking Cullen? That she's _really_ your fiancée. That she wanted to be with an executioner like _you_? That she will overlook the deeds you have been carrying out since you came of age. You are a fucking _murderer_ Cullen! Don't forget that! You should have killed her the moment you got out of that place and discard her body in a random dumpster from some shady ally for dogs to eat. The first time in your life, you let your futile heart control your fucking emotions instead of your brains. And the result is right in front of you, you lose when you think with that thing, a heart is worth no good when it belongs to a monster" I screamed internally,

I got out of the stupid car, left the keys in ignition. Isabella is alive and well so there's no need to destroy her car now. But I will hunt her down if it's the last thing I do. I will find her, and I will make her pay. No one fucks around with Edward Cullen and gets away with it. So what if she took one of my pawns down, my dark knight is still waiting to pounce and finish her white queen off. This is just the beginning not a game over. Just you wait and watch Isabella, I will fuck you so bad, and all the whites in this game of chess will be drenched in blood red. That's a promise I will die to keep.

The cold gust of the night outside sharply marred my face with another rap of insult, as if the whole nature was trying to convey their revulsion through the wind and dust salt in my open wound. I buttoned up and started to walk with my head held high, I am not going to surrender to an insignificant young women. Who was she to tell me I had lost the battle, when the war was still going on.

I took my cellphone out and called Esme. It was ringing but she didn't pick up, it switched to voice mail_

"_Hey Esme, it's Edward. I need to talk to you. Do not let anybody out of the house tonight; get Carlisle to set the alarm and whatever you do, DO NOT say anything to Hale about this. I'll be coming in, in a few. And call me ASAP!_" I left a message for her.

I don't know if Jasper's there yet but If he is and if he's involved with tonight's fiasco in any way then his body will be buried along with his tenacious sister before sunrise.

The murder of Wes McMordie was planned in high confidentiality _even _in our world. No one was supposed to know what was going to happen tonight. No one outside our family. There's got to be valid reason for NYPD's little showdown tonight. They knew something was going on; otherwise there was no chance that the cops should just drop in to say 'Hello' to a convicted criminal, an infamous drug dealer out of the blue, and that too on the same night, around the same time of our operation No one's deduction is that good. Someone must have tipped them off. Not necessarily the details but the time and the date. And the funny thing is, not even everyone in the Cullen Family knew all the details. I mean, sure they knew the Wes had betrayed Aro to save his own ass so Aro wished for him to be killed as soon as possible and Jasper and I had been chosen to give his wish fulfillment. That's all they knew, even _we _didn't know when we're going carry that deed out until this morning. Esme had called Jasper and me into Carlisle's study and went through the whole plan. So, only the three of us knew the intricate specifics along with the absolute basics. So if there's a rat in sight, it has to be either Jasper himself or his vain ass sister because I'm assuming he had told Rosalie all about it. Maybe she was the one who leaked the information, if it wasn't Jasper. Or maybe both of them are working together.

I thought Jasper was smart, fast and reliable and because he was involved in bare knuckle boxing a couple of years ago, (and I heard he was pretty good too) he reminded me of an old revolver, heavy but very dependable. If you're out of bullets you can always hit them on the head with it and in Jasper's case knock'em out cold with a single punch. But I had no idea; he would do something as stupid as this. This was my first OP with him and it's real ironic that my first OP with Jasper went down as the one that the cops "Accidently" got to know about and I almost got busted for the first time in my life.

Jasper Fucking Hale. He's not going to go away with it either. I'm going to kill that motherfucker with my bare hands he's proven guilty behind this fuckery. So, I made a mental note to put down the names of the Hale twins on my "People to kill before I die" list. I am going to hell anyway so why not take as many as I can with me. Death is going to find me one way or another. And to tell the truth I've long given up the hope of passing away peacefully in a warm bed somewhere as an old. I lost count of just how many people lost a parent, spouse, sibling or a friend because of me. I not a foul mouth*, I try to cause them as less pain as possible when I deliver them demise, but that doesn't matter. A life is a life and rule is supposed to be 'A life for a life', I don't believe in karma. If I had just dropped dead every time I took someone's life away I'd be a fucking therapeutic wonder, wouldn't I?

I was real thirsty, my throat hurt every time I gulped. I haven't had anything, food or water since breakfast and all this hard work and the tragedy that followed was wearing off on me. I could have given away every last dime I have in my bank account just for a chilled bottle of mineral water and a soft, warm bed so that I could go to sleep and never wake up to see this forbidding world again. Isabella was right "When you live a life like that, you just can't help but to hope that you'd die in your sleep someday"

How I hated her! How I hated myself even more for thinking about that bitch again as if she was still following my footsteps. She didn't speak but it felt like I heard her. She didn't show herself but it felt like I saw her, she wasn't there but I did feel her and I never got to know her but I still wanted her.

"Edward!"

I kept walking with my eyes on the ground and hands in my pockets. Hunger and thirst mixed with anxiety must be getting to my head severely because I could swear I just heard Bella's voice again.

"HEY! Wait the fuck up! "She cried again. This time heard quick footsteps against concrete followed by insignificant blow to my spine and two slender hands crept up my torso from behind as Bella locked them around my waist. I grabbed them both with my own – to see if I was still awake and yes, I could feel her there, so this can't be just a figment of my imagination- I freed myself and turned around to face her. She smiled up to me.

"What took you so long? I am _freezing_ out here!" she complained as she looked around for something "And where the hell is my car?"

I was still staring at her, at a complete loss for words.

"Edward, I swear if something happens to my Audi before _me_ I'm going to fucking kill you!" She threatened me. _Bella_ was threatening to kill _me!_

"Hello! I'm not talking to the tree behind you! What's wrong with you, Edward?" asked Bella, her lips twisting into an impish grin. I could just make out her eyes and teeth in the dark. Tonight the sky was as dim was a canvas splattered with pitch black.

"Bella!" I finally found my voice back. But it sounded so frail; today's drama just took it all out of me. My battery was almost dead.

"Who else?" she laughed so freely that It made my arteries burn up with the foulest kind of venom there is. I took my gun out, took care of the fucking safety catch and pointed it at her chest. She looked from me to the gun and took one step forward and her hand readjusted the muzzle and she made me place it against her forehead.

"There you go, Edward. You can pull the trigger now" she stood still, with her eyes closed and hands behind her back. My finger inched towards the trigger and suddenly the planet whirled so fast everything around me blurred and faded into black and I knew no more.

_I was lying awake in my bed with the brightest patch of sunshine I've ever seen in my life over my chest. My mother's arms were around me. I looked at her face; she had this softest pink complexion, just crimson rose petals mixed with fresh milk, her long cool blond hair sprawled all over my sky blue pillows like unrestricted sea weeds made of silk. She smelled like sweet flowers, I took in her scent. How familiar it was to me, I felt like I've lived surrounded by her perfume in the air I had been inhaling since the day I was born. Whenever my mom used to leave me home alone for a few hours her scent threatened to leave me too and I would arise to feel sacred. But she always returned before her aroma was completely gone and I would feel secured again. _

_I remembered last night, it was sixth my birthday. I remembered her promise to me that she would never drink again. I remembered my wish –"I wish mommy wouldn't drink any of that stuff ever again. We had such a great time today; from now on I always want her to be with me like this. Happy and loving, not passed out drunk, I wish she'd keep her promise till she dies"- and I blew the candle. I was so happy, yesterday was the happiest day of my life. My stomach growled, I didn't know how late I was but I could tell that it was noon or almost noon anyway. Normally mom woke me up before eight before leaving for work. But why isn't she getting up today to make breakfast yet?_

"_Mommy, wake up its noon and I'm starving!" I sat up in the bed and her hands fell off my torso, limp and cold. Why was she so cold? I touched her cheeks and she felt like ice under my little digits. I poked her shoulders with my finger, she didn't respond. I brushed hair off her beautiful face and her bright green eyes were open and fixed at me. _

"_Mommy?" She didn't blink or move. I shook her again and again but she just kept staring at me, glossy eyes and lifeless. I got off the bed and tried to make her sit up with every inch of strength I had but as soon as I let go of her shoulders her head hung, and her wilted body rolled off the bed and onto the floor. _

"_No! Mommy, wake up! Please mommy wake up" I was pleading kneeling on ground beside her._

"_Mommy wake up!"_

"Edawrd! Wake up!" I slowly opened my eyes and Bella was kneeling beside _my_ body. I tried to sit up and she helped me. She looked frightened, her face was almost as white as a sheet. "Oh my god! Are you ok?"

"Yes. What happened?"

"I don't know. I was waiting for you to pull the trigger and you fainted" she whispered hoarsely.

"How long?" I got up to my feet. I felt so tired, Bella tried to help me again by putting her hand around my waist and pulling my hand over her shoulders. But I shook her off and pulled away from her and went to stand a good 5 feet away.

"I don't know exactly, a minute and a half maybe, Could be two. You honestly scared the living fuck out of me!" her voice was anxious. I don't know what happened and I seriously didn't know what to do with Bella now. I couldn't finish her off; I just don't have the energy left in me tonight. Maybe I should just take her home and one of the others can do me a favor and take care of her for me.

I looked back at her face and caught her staring at me.

"Why did you come back?"

"Come back where?"

"To me. Why did you come back after you'd managed to get away?"

"I never left Edward. I got on that cab and told the driver to drop me off here. I didn't know where you were taking me so I figured that I'd just wait for you to drive by but you were taking time and…" she trailed off, biting down her bottom lip "and it's not like I could have escaped from you for good _even_ if I tried to, you would have hunted me down later today or by tomorrow anyway. I know I can't run away from this whole thing, run away from you" she shifted her weight, uneasily.

"Why bolt in the first place when you knew you'd return to the person you've just escaped from?" I demanded, through my teeth.

"Because you wouldn't believe me! You said that I have lost. I wanted to show you that you were wrong and prove that I did really want what I had said before; I _did_ know what I was getting myself into when I came along with you tonight. Just because I didn't put up a fight doesn't mean that I can't" she whispered roughly again, her voice shook with the chilly weather. And I just noticed that she was still unshod and without a coat, just in her off-shouldered blue dress that seemed black in the dark.

"You are mental!" I gaped at her open mouthed.

"So I have been told before" She laughed and my anger was begging to display its obnoxious dome above the surface again. I should take her there before I do something unwise.

"Come on" I sighed and beckoned her to follow me but she didn't move.

"What now?" I asked, drained and exasperated.

"I can't walk without shoes anymore and …." She shuddered as another spine-chilling gust of wind caught her hair "I'm hurt"

"Where?" my stomach gave a sick flip.

"I kneeled down on glass or something" she said "It's no big deal, but it aches when I walk" she showed me the fresh cut on her knee; I couldn't see the wound because it was covered in blood.

"That happened when you were kneeling beside me?" I asked, horrified. I have killed so many people in my life and a few of them were complete and utter bloodbaths but just the sight of fresh blood running down her calf in a thick dark line and saturating the ground under her feet was making me sick.

She didn't answer my question so I assumed that as a 'Yes'. I sighed and started walk.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"Where does it look like I'm going? I'm going back to get your car"

"I'm coming with you" she started towards me "No! You don't need to come. It will take five minutes so just stay put please, I really don't have the patience to deal with your games anymore tonight"

"I can come…" she tried again but I held up a hand and silenced her.

"If you don't want to stay than go to hell, just get off from my face" I scathed.

"Fine" she snapped.

I don't know how I did it, but I went back and got her car. It was right where I left it. I drove it back to her and she got in silently. Five more minutes later, I pulled into the Cullen driveway. All the lights were still on so I guessed Esme had done what I asked her to do already. I got out and went to hold the door open for her.

"You are one awfully pretentions bastard, aren't you?" she shook her head in amazement "You act like some gentleman from 18th century Verona, Always so polite and shit. Please for the love of god, give it a rest man; I've just about had it with your bullshit courtesy"

"A bastard? Yeah maybe. But pretentious ? No. I am what I am Bella. I don't need a mask to conceal my face or a charade to hide my actions. I am a criminal, a murderer, but that doesn't mean I wasn't raised to behave myself well. My mo- I mean, Esme would still murder _me_ if I ever disrespect a woman in front of her" I said. "But that doesn't erase the fact that she had raised me to be an assassin. So, No Bella, I'm not feigning anything" I laughed bitterly "Unlike _you_…" I referred to the stunt she had pulled in the car earlier, trying to get away.

"Oh yeah, that" she recalled with a smug smile on her face. "I'm not sorry for what I did. You deserved it. You called me a liar!"

"Do you have risk addiction?" I asked her as she slowly got out, having to clutch the door frame for support. I instinctively put a hand around her waist for help but she glared at me savagely.

"Humph! Maybe I do" she picked her shoes up but didn't bother to wear them again and to tell the truth they didn't look comfortable at all. "_And I_ can take care of myself" he shook my hand off and began to walk.

"Fine with me" I shrugged. I wonder what the others are going to say when I take her inside with me.

"I never heard you _once_ complaining about exactly _how _I managed to get away from you" she was still scowling "Or did you _like _it?"

"Didn't _you_?" I flung it back to her because I could still vividly remember the way her nails dug into my shoulders, her body begging me to hold her closer to me. The way she groaned when I ran my hands down her uncovered thighs, how she gasped when I started kissing her back.

"Cause the way I recall it, you responded quite convincingly to my touch" I looked back at her and found her blushing thirteen shades crimson at my words.

"I'm not going to lie but I'm not going to answer either" she kept frowning at me and I grimaced back.

"We better go inside, Esme is waiting" I said when I was sure that if we keep up this scowling completion will go on till sunrise cause neither of us seemed keen to back down first.

"Esme. The woman who you said had raised you, her own son, to be a "well-mannered" murderer?" She seemed lost in some unimaginable thought "Hmm, let's go" she mused and took a few steps forward as I held the huge wooden double doors open for her, she walked in with her silver pumps dangling from the tip of her fingers. She sauntered slowly to the bottom of the staircase; I could tell her knee was definitely hurting like hell by now. But as proud as she was, Bella wouldn't ask for assistance.

"I could carry you" I offered. After all she got hurt because of me and that's the least I could do for her. She didn't need to suffer a few minutes before someone kills her anyway.

"Thanks but no thanks. I believe I can manage on my own" she snapped.

"Bella, I know that you're hurting and you've already established that you are stupidly uncontrolled, there's no need to display that you are stupidly irrational too. You can't climb up these stairs without injuring your feet even worse, there could still be a glass splinter stuck inside the wound. Let me carry you, please"

"I said I can manage" she repeated stubbornly and took in a deep breath, setting her mind up but I wasn't having that. I scooped her up in easily my arms; she shrieked in surprise as she instinctively locked her arms around my neck to prevent herself from slipping off. But it was unnecessary; I had her in a secured hold regardless.

"I hate you" she was glaring bloody daggers at my chest.

"You are welcome" I ignored her comment. Like it even matters what the thought of me. Hate is good. If you they can't love you, make sure they hate you. I climbed up the stairs carrying Bella and found the first floor empty. Where the hell was everybody?

"Emmett?" I bellowed.

"Edward! We are up in here" A male voice answered from the second floor and it wasn't Emmett.

"Jasper!" I hissed quietly under my breath and Bella shrieked at the same second looking down at the stair steps, startled "I know, He is already here!" I muttered in a low voice but she shook her head violently and pointed towards the upper staircase.

"What?" I asked her and suddenly I got what she was trying to tell me, there were vast splotches of blood all over the steps it looked as if somebody had been dragged up those steps, bleeding blatantly.

"Shit!" I set Bella slowly down on her feet and she stood silently holing the wall for support, trying to gauge logic from my activities.

"You wait here" I hissed as I took my gun out, ready to fire Jasper's brains out if he tries something funny and she nodded silently, her beautiful face anxious. And unless I was mistaking greatly, that anxiety was for my sake. She was afraid that something would happen to _me. _And the first time tonight I wished I didn't have to kill her. For a wild moment, I wanted her to stay alive and with me.

I closed the distance between our bodies, and slightly raised her chin with my hand as she was shoeless and about a good 8 inches shorter than my 6 feet 2 inches.

"What is this Bella, concern? I am a big boy" I smiled down at her despite myself "I can manage on my own _too_"

"I know. Big enough and ugly enough" she whispered irritated, "But I'm not feigning this time" she tried to stand on her tiptoe to kiss me but she failed with a sharp intake of breath as her knee ached at that movement.

"Allow me…" I said as I took her face in my hands and bent my head so our lips could meet, she kissed me softly once and then once again with more vigor and intensity, fisting the fabric of my already badly ruined shirt and pulled away slowly, breathing heavily.

"You were right" she whispered, taking my free hand in hers "About me, wanting the dangerous things for all the wrong reasons"

"You are a risk-addict" I groaned through my own labored breathing.

"I know" she smiled timidly "Go. I will wait for you here" she nudged me on.

I nodded in agreement and finally let go of her hand and deja-voo hit; it strangely felt like letting go of something that was priceless to me.

I ignored my bizarre notions and slowly climbed up to second floor and saw jasper siting in an armchair by the electric fireplace. Rosalie was sitting on the arms of his chair, pressing a cloth tightly against her brother's left arm which was completely drenched in blood.

"Edward" jasper said meekly "thank god you are ok. I thought something had happened to you too. I've been hit "

"Don't move so much, you idiot!" Rosalie scolded him as she took another piece of slow white sheet of cloth, stepped on its corner with one foot and ripped a long, narrow patch from it with one hand, while still keeping the pressure on Jasper's wound with the other. Then she added the newly torn pile of fabric over jaspers arm which instantly began to turn blood red.

"How?" that's all I could manage to say at that moment.

"Does that matter now?" Rosalie growled with so much venom in her voice that was enough to turn the garden of heaven into an emaciated desert.

"Rose please" jasper looked at her with pleading eyes and she focused back on his arm again.

"Why is she doing that? Why haven't you been to Carlisle? He could have fixed you up in no time…" I wondered why Rosalie was playing the paramedic when Carlisle has all the necessities in the house for this kind of emergencies. "Where is he anyway? And where is Esme or Emmett?"

"I don't know. I just got in a few minutes ago, both of them are gone and Rose had been trying them since evening, none of them are picking up theirs cells or responding to messages" jasper said in a tired voice, his face was gradually turning a pale shade of blue, that looked peculiar against his honey blond hair.

"Let _me_ take a look at the wound…" I offered as I finally shrugged the dark blazer off and rolled the sleeves of my shirt up but as soon as took one step in jasper's direction, Rosalie stood with her back to him, facing me "_Touch_ him and I swear I will blow your fucking head off, Cullen!"

She was pointing tiny revolver at me "Did you think we are really this stupid? Did you think we wouldn't be able to tell? Or did you people think that we won't even be alive till now? Was that your plan?" She spat, ferociously.

"What the hell are you talking about? I thought I was the one who should be asking you two the same questions, the date was leaked…" but she finished my sentence "And the only one who knew the whole thing apart from Jasper was YOU!" she screamed.

"You think _I _leaked the information? Disclosed the date and time of the murder that _I_ was supposed to commit? Why you are not very smart, are you? Not that I even thought that you _were_, you stupid blonde!" I spat back at her.

"That's it motherfucker! The joke is on fucking YOU this time, Cullen" she screeched, and her finger crept towards the trigger. I should have been able to finish her off in a second, but there's no time left now. But I kept glaring at her; it's too late to do anything now I thought but two things happened simultaneously at the same moment, a shiny silver boomerang went whooshing right above my ear and hit Rosalie in the hand and loud bang echoed through the whole room, trembling the chandelier above us hard. Rosalie's gun flew out of her hand and landed somewhere near the staircase behind me, she had missed any part of my body by a wide margin and the bullet hit one of Esme's paintings on the back wall. Now Esme's copy of "A Girl in green" had a hole in her one of her emerald green eyes.

"Edward!" someone cried, I looked at my left and saw Bella with Rosalie's revolver in one hand and a metallic pump dangling from the other. She was pointing the gun at Rosalie, who was gaping at her open mouthed; Bella's other shoe that was now as flat as flip-flops was laying wrecked on the floor in front of Rosalie. I couldn't believe it; she threw a shoe at Rosalie Hale! Oh lord! I think I almost fell in love!

"Are you out of your fucking mind again?" I yelled at Bella. Things could have gone seriously wrong, she could have missed Rosalie's hand and I could be… "You are welcome. You'd be dead by now if I hadn't stepped in _and_ you owe me 579$ for the shoes" she yelled back at me still pointing the gun at Rosalie.

"What is that thing, Cullen? Your guard bitch?" Rosalie looked at her like she was some kind of slime stuck to the back of her shoes.

"I'm no guard, But do mind when I say this, my bite is a lot tougher than my bark" Bella answered coldly as I walk over to her and took the revolver from her hand, she didn't protest. But she didn't back off either, she kept eyeing Rosalie darkly.

I stood in front of her like a shield and faced Rosalie, she was looking murderous, her teeth were bare and she made a sound that almost sounded like a fucking hiss. If she had laser vision they would have penetrated my torso and blasted Bella to smithereens by now.

"OH! Edward I think something is happening to him!" Bella suddenly wailed from behind me, pointing at Jasper. All of our heads snapped in that direction, he had been so quiet for the past few minutes that I almost forgot about him. His eyes were closed and his head was immobile on the armrest, his face was still blue but now he had a thin line of warm blood running down the corner of his mouth. Jasper was dying.

"Jazz!" Rosalie ran to kneel beside her twin "Jazz! Don't let go Jazz, stay with me! You are going to be fine" She tried to soothe him as she checked his pulse and judging from the renewed reassurance burning in her eyes… "He's still struggling, we have to move him Edward, but he has lost a lot of blood!" Bella sounded so washed up as she started to move towards him, but I grabbed her hand to stop her. Rosalie isn't in a right state of mind at the moment, she can do anything.

Bella looked up at me with prominent disgust, "He is dying!" she whispered hoarsely.

"HE IS NOT DYING!!! Jazz is not going to die! FUCK YOU!" Rosalie let out a spine chilling scream, without even bothering to look at us. Bella shuddered, and knees had had enough, they gave out and I wrapped my arm around her waist protectively because I could tell she's going to fall any second.

"Yeah, that's why I stopped you. She wouldn't let anybody near him. She thinks we're are bad guys, remember?" I muttered under my breath, loud enough for only Bella to hear.

"We have got to help…" she let out a silent sob, burying her face in my chest.

"We can't. Not unless she lets us" I said, my own fatigue draining the last bits of strength out of me.

* * *

** Leave me some comments and love I need it!!!**

**Sabrina**


	10. Chapter 9 teaser: Should I continue?

**A/N: Everything belongs to SM. Somebody I am not and never want to be. But I love because she needs to feel beloved. **

**I dont really know what to say. I've gone for a year exactly. people who started to read this fic once never failed to inspire me to come back. A lot has happened in the meantime and my life is changed forever. But I do want to finish what I had started. So tell me, would you read this, If I write more? Be honest.**

**#THIS IS ONLY A TEASER OF THE ORIGINAL CHAPTER. I will post the real thing If see that there are enough of you who want to waste your time over this crap. If not then I'll post the epilogue and get the hell outta your lives.**

* * *

**Bullets and black roses**

Chapter 9: **Ebony, Snow and Blood**

**BPOV:**

I was standing in front of huge rusty iron gates like the ones you see only in horror movies. I felt the wind, so unpleasantly frosty that it was freezing my insides. I looked down at myself and only made out the white ballerina shoes on my feet, laces of which were entangled with each other like sea weeds making love underwater. I wanted to move forward but I couldn't. Both of my fists were closed around something cold and metallic. I opened them and found one silver coin stationed on each palm, emanating a silver glow underneath the moonlight. I didn't know why they were where they were, but closed my fists tightly again, holding onto them like my life depended on them.

The gates creaked and started to open slowly…. So painfully slow that I had the insane craving to go and push it wide open myself. But my feet were tied. My heart raced with excitement mixed with fear of the unknown while I waited to see what is on the other side. But they were moving inch by inch revealing only more darkness.

I waited and I waited…. To see something …anything…any fucking thing! But darkness was my only host. I sighed and my shoulders hunched with an engulfing sense of disappointment.

And then I felt it. I felt the electricity that hovered in the air whenever he was near. I felt him. I felt his presence. My eyes searched for his beautiful face but I couldn't see him. "Where are you, Ed…" I tried to scream my words but his name was left strangled in my throat as a hand covered my mouth from behind.

"Shhhhh!" he whispered in my ear and his breath tickled down my neck.

"Keep your silence, Bella" he moved my hair to caress his lips from the hollow of my ear to the crook of my neck "…or he will hear us" he mouthed against my skin.

"Who will?" I asked "who will hear us Edward?" what was he talking about?

"Him" he pointed at a human silhouette that was standing on the other side of the gates, faraway. I could see his face. All I could make out from this distance was his shadow. He was standing looking down at his hands. Other shadows surrounded him from both sides but the straight path him was deserted. He looked lonely even from far, even when he was is crowd of outlines.

"Who is he, Edward?" I asked him again. But he didn't answer me. Instead he turned my body around and knelt down in front of me. He touched my thighs and his hands moved down to the back of my calves. As soon as his fingers stoked the silk laces that kept my feet together, they began to untangle on their own. I stepped out of them, happy to feel the frosty ground with my bare feet.

He looked up at me, green eyes burning with an emotion that was unfathomable to me. "Whats wrong?" I requested him with my own eyes, holding my gaze. But he jumped when I tried to touch him, he grabbed my elbows and tuned to around so I was facing the unknown man again.

"Go to him, Bella" he nudged me with his smooth velvet voice. "Go liberate yourself again and come back to me"

He whispered and let go of me. "Don't turn around till you are free, Bella. Don't let him win" his voice was fading slowly as he moved back.

"I am sorry Bella but I can't fight alone anymore. Only you can help me. Only you can defeat him. I do not have an eternity but I will wait for you as long as I can. I will wait for you till my last breath, till he destroys me completely"

"I am waiting for you, Bella. I am waiting for you to come find me afterwards" and with those words I felt his absence.

I was angry, fuming and raged. How dare he create this distance between me and Edward! I stalked forward, brushing past the rustic gates. I walked and walked but the path seemed to stretch itself with each step I took towards him. And he stood there, under a dead, twisted and evil looking tree, beckoning me closer with his hands.

It seemed like the world has evacuated all its inhabitants for us, for this face-off between me and him. All the other shadows vanished somewhere and it was just me and him. I could finally see him a bit more clearly. He was tall and dressed in all ebony. I couldn't see his face yet though he moved forward. It looked as if he wanted to meet me half way. Well, it's about fucking time! Untainted hatred for him filled my lungs and made it hard for me to breathe.

And finally, when we were at a touching distance I looked upto him and gasped. He was Edward. Edward Cullen. How could this be? I looked back, trying to see the person I just left behind but only to observe more dimness.

"You will never see him again" He looked at me with dark jade eyes, his disheveled bronze hair swayed lightly with the wind and I cringed inwardly, all my anger and courage, replacing with doubt and fear. He looked different than my Edward. The new glint in his eyes seemed conniving, almost demonic.

"He is weak. He is pathetic. He is a coward" He gave me a devious smile as he took a step forwards and closed his fingers around my fisted hands. I don't know how it happened but the coins in my fists were getting hotter. They were burning my palms. I wanted lets go of them but his fingers were iron clad. I winced and pleaded, twisting in pain as the burning sensation grew even stronger. But he stood there smiling at my aching self; my pain was giving him satisfaction. He was enjoying it. He was enjoying it very much indeed.

"No! you can't take him away from me" I screamed with all my might. "let me go! He is waiting for me! I have to go!"

"He's no good for you, Isabella. How do expect him to protect you when couldn't even protect himself." He inclined his head towards his right and suddenly I noticed that there was someone there kneeling with his head down and his hands behind his back.

"Edward!" I called. But he didn't move.

"Edward, look at me! I am here" He kept looking down.

"Do you see how pitiable he is?" Dark Edward sneered beside me "he can't even look you in the eyes" he shifted his hands in a way that my arms were twisted behind me now, still fisting the scorching metals in my hands "Do you see how he can't even face you?"

"Edward!" I called the kneeling figure again. But he was as immobile as a marble statue.

"He is much too of a coward to reply you, Isabella. You don't need him" dark Edward moved behind me, grabbing my jaw and fisting my hair "But I am going to give that piece slime another chance. Just for you. But you have do what I say" he whispered against my ear.

"Anything. Anything!" I whispered back hoarsely.

"Fine" he said and vanished from my sight only to appear a few feet in front of me near the kneeling man.

"let's play a game" he smiled wickedly, yanking my Edward's head up by his hair while his other hand produced an apple out of thin air and placed it on top of his head. My Edward was silent as he eyes darted to mine, full of hope. I was horrified at the site, my stomach churned and I wanted to throw up. I felt disgusted looking at him, so broken, so vulnerable. I wanted to go and knock the damn apple off his head and hug him. Make him get up on his feet. But dark Edward was once again at my side holding me there. He reached into his coat and fished out a gun.  
"But you have pay first if you want to play" and though he didn't say what the price was, I knew he was asking for the coins I held. I offered my palms to him and he took them one by one, a kiss replacing the spot where they sat all this time. As soon as his lips touched my skin the burn marks disappeared. I held my breath, waiting for him to hand me what I needed to save the Edward I wanted to be with.

"Shoot the apple. You two can have each other only if you make it."

He sneered again "but If you miss, you will be mine" I shuddered at those last words. I pointed the gun trying to fix my target but my hands shook so much I could barely tell what I was aiming at. I tried not to look directly at the Edwards. Any of them.

I took a deep breath. I was about to pull the trigger when Edward in front of me turned into a replica myself. She looked at me with sad brown eyes, full of pity. As if I am the one who deserves sympathy here. I couldn't take it anymore.

I fired.

And then nothing.

* * *

I woke up. I didn't scram, I didn't panic. I wasn't sweaty or red-faced like the other times I wake up from a nightmare. I knew I was dreaming all alone. Could I call it a nightmare?

Well, nightmare or not it was most bizarre thing I've ever seen subconsciously.

Dark Edward?

My Edward?

Only _I_ can dream about this kind of madness. It is damned official. I have completely lost my fucking mind.

I shook my head, letting out a huge sigh. I still kept my eyes closed though. Not ready to face all of it yet.

"Fuck this" I exclaimed loudly, a bit too loudly for my preference at that moment.

"Fuck what exactly?" his voice flowed smoothly, like orange juice. No pulp.

I finally decided it was time to open my goddamn eyes. And the flame returned. My limbs burned and my head felt heavy. And to make matters worse, my eyes weren't very adaptive to light today.

Good. If it puts me off from looking right at him for a bit longer then its good. Very good. For me.

"And if by 'fuck this' you mean what I think you mean then you can just forget about it" he mused, exhaling slowly.

I felt him shift the bed beside me, moving his arm and to my surprise my wrist moved involuntarily with his tug.

"We are handcuffed together, Isabella"

* * *

** You know the drill **~_ Sabrina_


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